So I started my new job exactly 1 month ago, and I’m really struggling, and it seems to be stressing out my coworkers.
I work in an office and I’m in a small area with about 8 people, and since I’m new they’re constantly over my shoulder and checking everything I do and it makes me so anxious. I so badly don’t want to mess up, so I constantly ask for validation on my work before finalizing it. I’ve been really struggling with focusing on my work and tend to zone out during phone calls to listen to what’s going on around me and to make sure the other coworkers aren’t talking about mistakes I’ve made. I struggle to remember how to do simple tasks that I’ve been shown 2-3 times.
My biggest anxiety is that I feel like I’m inferior to other people they’ve trained. I worry that I’m not picking up on things fast enough. A big part of my job is to speak with clients and retain information like last names and addresses so that I can set up appointments and I’ll literally forget what someone told me their last name was after a few seconds and have to go in and check or ask for it again. It really affects things when I have to relay information to other coworkers and can’t remember what someone had just said to me.
Today I mentioned that I have really bad memory to a coworker after forgetting something and my supervisor stepped in said “oh so you tell us that now after we already hired you” then chuckled, and now I feel so dumb for even saying that and had a panic attack on my way home from work, because I feel like an idiot for making myself look stupid. I forgot one of my managers names and while I was talking to her I also forgot the name of the client we were going to discuss.
I also feel like I’m in a bubble at work. I can’t connect with my new coworkers and just don’t feel like a normal person. I’m really good with customer service but I tend to say awkward things occasionally and feel like the coworkers next to me are judging me. I think my biggest trigger is knowing I have people monitoring what I’m doing and everyone is in close proximity, so if I make a mistake, I can’t just fix it on my own, someone always corrects me in advance.
I really don’t want to quit my job bc I need the money and it’s in a really good industry, especially with me not having a degree. But I feel like I’ll never be good enough. Does anyone have any advice to help me navigate through this?