Feel free to remove this if it doesn't fit, obligatory “I'm on mobile so I apologize for formatting” preamble.
TL;DR at the bottom and I'm sorry for being so long winded. I'm just out of hope.
To give a little bit of information about myself, I found out fairly recently ( within the last 6 months) that I have an incurable autoimmune disease. I also have a couple other illnesses, and basically my body has been destroying itself for over 20 years. I've had tests and it is impacting my kidneys, I'm starting medication because after a long wait I did get to see a specialist about a week ago.
All of this to say that unfortunately with my illness I do need accommodation when it comes to work. Ideally I need to work from home because I have sensitivity to sunlight that can cause me to feel very sick, and that also carries over to most fluorescent lighting. I have an inability to stand, for long periods of time, which is something I've been doing to myself for almost my entire career in the workforce and it has caused permanent damage to the tendons in my feet and legs. I can't run or jump without hurting myself. I'm only 31.
I got my dream job, or at least a stepping stone to it, just before my diagnosis. I was actually let go due to “work shortage” not even 2 weeks after requesting accommodation and providing a medical note. It was within my first 3 months so I couldn't fight it and it completely crushed my self worth.
Now I'm at another job, thankfully it is 100% remote, and I was up front from the beginning about my illness. They appeared to be extremely accommodating, but every single time that I've had an absence I have faced judgment for it I feel. I just hit my 3 months, and I have been struggling so hard just to show how much I care about having this job, but to be honest I feel like there's not much to live for and I don't really think it's fair for a workplace to expect an employee to care more about their job than a paycheck. That's why we're there, we need to survive.
I can't even afford the food that I'm supposed to be eating help regulate this disorder so I'm making it worse. I have been for years without realizing. And now that I know and I still can't afford things, I just feel so hopeless. And yet my workplace expects me to prioritize their service levels over my own health, even knowing about my disabilities. I've been so so transparent in an effort for them to understand what my limitations are but they have been brushed aside every time.
So anyway… Back to “The Platform”….
That movie just makes me think. It may not be a perfect analogy for the trickle-down effect that we all experience, but it's pretty damn close. The majority of our population seems to be struggling with mental health issues and physical health issues that are almost 100% due to a lack of resources and ability to support oneself. We suffer and we tear each other apart like wild animals sometimes, because that's what it's like. It's like we're being thrown scraps to divide amongst ourselves, when there wasn't even enough for one or two people to begin with.
I'm trying to figure out how to survive in a world like that because I'm not at the top of the platform. I'm nowhere near it, I'm probably halfway down and I guess that's better than being all the way at the bottom, but that just means someone else is at the bottom. And since I'm suffering and struggling I can't help them, and nobody on a higher floor than me wants to help because they don't have to. Because they have the privilege of not thinking about the pain and injustices in this world, because they are above it somehow.
My life experience so far has been that the more wealth someone has, the less they're able to understand the suffering of the poor. It breaks my heart because it means that I'll either die poor or end up being one of them.
Like “The Platform”, there isn't a happy ending here. The cycle repeats itself and no one on the outside will admit how bad it is.
What are we doing to ourselves? How is this all there is? I just don't understand and it actually kills me.
TL;DR: I found out I'm going to die early because I'm sick and there's no cure. I've been in need of accomodation to process the changes. Employers don't care about things like this, and it's making me realize more and more how similar our world is to The Platform.
Thanks for reading if you took the time.