My manager seriously told me during my performance review that he wanted to have rated me higher because he feels that I deserve it but couldn't because the company had changed the way that ratings are done.
This is also the same company that told me that if I talked to any of my coworkers about my meager raise, it would be grounds for termination.
My rating description? Successfully performs all goals and objectives.
Literally a C grade performer because I do the job I get paid to do and nothing more. Absolutely wild.