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Antiwork

Never Buy a Girl Scout Cookie (Receipts in Link!)

This is a two part antiwork post. Some background, I was a Girl Scout member from age 5 until my mid 30s. I started as a member, then became a volunteer, a staff member, and finally a board member before I told them to suck my dick. The first issue I want to raise is a fundamental flaw in the Girl Scout Cookie Program. This is a program designed to teach financial literacy, but the reality is that the program doesn't meet its supposed outcomes. The entire budget for each Girl Scout Council is made up by cookie sales. That means that the only way the overall Girl Scout program can function is if children sell cookies. There are also very specific rules in place by the IRS that do not allow cookie proceeds, or the percentage of cash earned by each individual girl to follow her. Essentially the government…


This is a two part antiwork post. Some background, I was a Girl Scout member from age 5 until my mid 30s. I started as a member, then became a volunteer, a staff member, and finally a board member before I told them to suck my dick.

The first issue I want to raise is a fundamental flaw in the Girl Scout Cookie Program. This is a program designed to teach financial literacy, but the reality is that the program doesn't meet its supposed outcomes. The entire budget for each Girl Scout Council is made up by cookie sales. That means that the only way the overall Girl Scout program can function is if children sell cookies. There are also very specific rules in place by the IRS that do not allow cookie proceeds, or the percentage of cash earned by each individual girl to follow her. Essentially the government thinks it is child labor for a minor to earn money for sales. Instead all of the money is pooled into a shared account and while GS would like to claim the girls decide how the money gets spend, it rarely works that way. Girl Scouts of the USA have no other revenue sources besides selling their merch and minimal grants. Children, should not be generating revenue to pay the salaries of staff or the overhead for an office space, but unfortunately in America they do! For instance, to pay my salary the girls needed to sell at least 18,250 boxes a year. My department as a staff member was focused on gaining as many members before the start of each cookie sale with the plan to convert the girl to be a seller. As staff we had wild goals and were forced to do things like loiter on the curbs outside schools to harass children walking home. Anything to meet out goals. I will admit, I drank the poison punch for a long time and thought that the Girl Scout program was life changing enough to justify the high pressure recruitment tactics. I know now that it was wrong.

I had many issues with the employer. I was in a major accident and on workers comp, yet forced to attend an overnight retreat. My manager was fired for repeatedly writing me up for “coaching” but then never scheduling the coaching sessions. A team lead in another region was being investigated for workplace discrimination. And the pay was blatantly inequitable and we were forbidden from discussing. Oh, we also weren't allowed to ask for raises. It was flatly out of the question.

After three years of being annoyed at the pay inequity I brought up raises at my next performance evaluation. Management said that everyone was paid based on their education experience, which I knew was a lie. My team had three people. The person with the Masters was paid lowest, me with the Bachelors in the middle, and staffer without a degree making the most. Also, I had the highest seniority. When I pulled out the receipts my boss started telling me that I am not allowed to discuss wages. To be honest I didn't know labor law then like I do now, so I just went along with it. Then she ordered me to report any staff members I observed discussing wages or raises. I replied that I am not comfortable reporting coworkers for discussing their pay. This lady then went into a RANT about how I am adversarial and no one likes me because of it. She went on and on and just chewed me a new one for refusing to report others.

Well, after years of their bullshit I was prepared and I live in a one-party consent recording state. Therefore I had the entire performance evaluation recorded. I didn't fully realize how damaging her statements were, so I just held onto the audio file.

A month or so goes by and the manager quits to go be a HR rep for her family business (gag me!!) Everyone starts talking about how much they hate that manager and I share some details about my recording. Jaws dropped, my team members tell me to send it to Department of Labor ASAP. No problem!

A few weeks go by any my report is picked up by the Regional Director with the NLRB and it's going to be investigated. In the next 24 hours my entire team left the department. One quit with no notice, another was promoted, and I quit with notice. The day of my exit interview is the day the NLRB notified HR about the recording of their manager. They spent the entire time trying to find out why I didn't report the manager to HR. “Uhhhhh, because you all have been insufferable for years and I am going to hold you responsible for breaking Federal Labor Law.”

I won that lawsuit! Here is the settlement they were forced to email to every employee and post in multiple locations in every office. Specifically staff could discuss their wages and they were NOT allowed to even imply I am adversarial. LOL

After I left I joined the Board hoping I could advocate for staff at the executive level. I was wrong, they didn't give a fuck about the workers. The final straw was a new CEO appointed the week of George Floyd's murder. Her first act as CEO was to create a program for white girls to understand racism……….

The next day posters started showing up all over my city blasting the manager who called me adversarial. Apparently she was just as abusive in her new HR role at the family business. It was so funny and I went on a full social media campaign with all my receipts about the settlement and the racist CEO. Anyway, I haven't touched a Girl Scout Cookie since 2020 and my life is infinitely better.

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