I want to learn languages, draw, paint, read, write books, learn new skills, but I can't because I'm just so tired after work and I don't even earn that much because I live in a 3rd world country. So I need to escape this because I just don't like doing the stuff I do at work, even though it's the best option I've found so far.
My plan was to start freelancing in ui/ux design and I don't even need to make a ton of money, just enough to get by is fine for me as long as I can quit my job. So I worked hard on my portfolio and improved my designs and applied for 99designs, where you can take part in contests and find freelance work. I got rejected for it, I really wasn't expecting that and was counting a lot with 99designs. But fine, I thought I could try Upwork then, but it feels literally impossible. I feel like I need to know 100 different things like WordPress, Wix, Webflow, Squarespace and I need to practice and create projects I can show clients in all of those, BUT I DON'T WANT TO. That's not how I want to spend my time, more work after I finish work. I already have 2+ years of experience and already burned myself out doing all of this and working even more hours after work and it feels like it doesn't even matter because I'd need to spend 1000h more hours to even begin to earn something.
So now I realized there's no way out for me unless I want to burn myself out again. I'll just have to work on finding a better paying job overseas and that's it. There's no escaping any of this and I'm just so fucking upset, and it's my birthday but there's nothing I want to do because it's just depressing. I really don't know what to do and I guess I just needed to vent.