Owner: I run my own bar, I let my employees call out, I don't fire people for dumb shit.
Cook: I work for somebody I personally know, who takes my work problems seriously, who tries to treat everybody with some grace, so I'm ok with taking on extra bullshit because he is too.
Me: Ok, sounds copacetic, as long as the money and lifestyle works out. You and your boss stressing about the same things and going home at the same time only works if you're both going home to what you want and need.
Cook: Actually, he's only at the bar for about 4 hours usually, but he has meetings off-site, etc. I'm only here for so many hours because on top of cooking I gotta do the schedules, maintain the kitchen equipment, order everything and deal with distributors, and handle catering for his side business. But it's ok, he gave me my very own company credit card so I don't have to actually handle the hassle of maintaining his accounting as well.🤗
Boss: Man, having two different sets of kids wears you out. I've got a kid in diapers and a 22yo that expects me to fix her car.
Cook: See? He works hard. He's just like me. Fixes cars on his day off.
Me: Do you fix cars on your day off?
Cook: No, I make schedules and meet with liquor reps and plan the menu and schedule the catering shifts.
Me: At your bar? Or at his bar?
Cook: At…
Owner: Cook told me there was this problem, I wanted to go in and fire everybody's ass, but Cook doesn't rat out his guys
Cook (getting up 3 hours early): So I gotta get to the bar before we open because nobody changed out the fryer oil or rotated the freezer stock or inventoried the dailies
Me: Thank goodness Owner has a Co-owner like you that cares about this bar as much as he does. Otherwise he'd actually have to deal with those management problems himself instead of being a car guy with an occasional bar management problem.
Cook: I don't own shit. I just know I have to do this because otherwise there's be constant turnover and I'd have people in training all the time and the bar would fall apart.
Me: Sounds like your boss is using your own honor against you to shield him from having to run his own kitchen.
Cook: Noooo…
SO HERE'S MY QUESTION:
My buddy is in his 40s, no wife, no kids, and doesn't even realize that he's living the human existence of a feedlot steer. He's such a lovely human being. Sweet, kind, hard working to the point of obnoxiousness.
What can I do for him? Trust, I've already pointed him at this forum. But he has no extra energy to even scroll his phone outside of work.
Friends, this man has gotten so used to the view from the hamster wheel that he can't imagine anything else and doesn't have the energy to.
And every day I watch a beautiful soul pour the devotion and concern that should be going to a partner and family, or at least a pet, into this job like he's not directly grinding his actual life purpose and happiness into his boss's bread.
Energy that could go into people who will bring you soup when you're sick, pay your rent when you're broke, who love you for you, instead of as a very nice but ultimately replaceable piece of kitchen equipment.
I want to approach the owners wife, other owner, about offering my friend a piece of the business. But it's really not my place at all. But… A whole ass human life is being churned up and served to customers and he's grilling up slices of his own meat thinking there's nothing better out there for him.