Hi. I'm upset that I've been applying to places since 2021and only gotten 2 interviews. 2. I'm 25, will have an associate's in the spring (once they give me the damn diploma, I've done all their stupid requirements but have to wait until the semester is over because I can get fucked, I guess). I've worked a retail job for a few months, it was initially a seasonal position but they kept me on as a keyholder, until a new DM came in and eliminated my job, (company went bankrupt soon after lol), didn't have a job for a year, got a job working food service but also event setup and inventory reconciliation for about a year until the pandemic hit and never heard from them again and didn't care to reach out, and had a job as an “independent contractor” for a bridal/prom place for like. a month and a half before the pandemic hit, and they didn't ever contact me again either. I've got no criminal record, I know how to use a computer, but apparently I cant get a fucking job anywhere.
I have no passion for anything, I hate working with people, I hate sales, I hate food service, I hate manual labor, I have extreme anxiety about answering phones(no i don't know why), I'm constantly worried I'm about to fuck something up all the time. I just want to lay on the floor. I have general knowledge of many things, I've done a bunch of stuff, woodworking, leatherworking, silversmithing, sewing, even outdoorsy stuff like camping and hiking and caving and shit, but I don't love any of it, and even if I did it wouldn't matter because none of it is professional experience so it doesn't matter, apparently. I know the basics of chemistry and electricity and repairing things and troubleshooting computers but I cant even get a fucking job that only requires you to have half a brain and not show up visibly on cocaine. It's so fucking degrading to not even be looked at for a dishwasher position.
I don't know what to do. I need a job because I need to move out of my parents house before they get too sick of me, but I cant get one, and if by some miracle of god i get one, I know I'm going to hate it and be constantly worried about being fired because I've got some serious impostor syndrome or someshit. I can't just mooch off unemployment because the amount of money the government thinks I should have for that is $73usd, and I also need health insurance that will let me have some fucking adhd meds because otherwise I'm REALLY not going to be able to work.
I don't know what I'm doing with my life. I'm not in dire straights or anything, I still have some savings from when I did have a job bc I don't have too many expenses living with my parents/on their health insurance, but those savings are about to be wiped bc that insurance doesn't want to pay for around $5k of the top surgery I had (ITS TOO LATE, YOU CANT PUT THEM BACK ON, FUCKERS!!!) so after that, I just get to go fuck myself. I don't know why my resume is so shit that no one wants to even look at it, I've had indeed's resume bot review it and it came up fine.
Fuck.
Anyways. I just got back from aforementioned second interview and they wanted childcare credentials for a receptionist/admin assistant job and the interviewer had me mixed up for someone else, apparently, so I'm very upset and needed to rant. If anyone knows of any job type I wouldn't hate, I'd appreciate suggestions, but mostly I just needed to cry about this.
Capitalism sucks and I cannot make a living making squid plushies, unfortunately.