The shortest job I've ever had lasted two days. I was interviewing for a role with a company when my wife was 9 months pregnant. I had made sure to mention multiple times to the hiring manager (future boss) that I will be taking one – two weeks off to care for her and our newborn. After the interview, I received a call he wanted to meet to discuss salary for the role. At the time, I was working as an on-call maintenance technician and he told me I had to come right away. I was pretty greasy, but whatever, I had a job that was okay with me leaving for a brief period so I went to his office.
When I arrived, he kind of scoffed and told me this was my “surprise second interview” and he did them like this to catch people off guard and then motioned to my appearance. I mentioned he never said anything of the sort in the phone call and it was unprofessional to do such a thing. However, as I was desperate for the money, I obliged. He told me he didn't believe I had the skills for the job I was interviewing for and questioned my integrity. I disagreed with him and three days later, got the job.
I started on a Monday as a Desktop Administrator. The day started with the Boss showing me the facility and telling everyone that I was “the new Jeremy.” He pointed to a suite of closed, solid wood offices and said “that's the CEO and CFO.” Then he brought me back to his office where he again questioned my abilities before sending me off to my cube across from the Systems Administrator.
Immediately the SysAdmin and Help Desk Admin told me of how awful the boss was, how the entire IT team had been recycled twice in six months and both were going to be quitting soon. The SysAdmin asked what tasks the Boss had assigned me – I showed him a push cart full of broken laptops (and I mean smashed to fucking pieces) that the Boss wanted me to fix up and put back into circulation, including ones that would cause electric shock. The SysAdmin, technically being my superior, told me instead to begin familiarzing myself with my duties and reading schematics on company infrastructure. The boss must have seen us talking and summoned me to his office. On Day One, he berated and screamed at me that “THE SYSADMIN ISNT YOUR BOSS, I'M YOUR BOSS, UNDERSTAND!” I nodded in quiet agreement. He then told me he wanted me to install some Spy Software on the SysAdmin's PC and the Help Desk Admin's PC because he believed they were “slacking off.”
I threw that USB in the trash.
Day 2 was more of the same, but on the night of Day 2, my wife went into labor at 10pm. I called my boss' phone and left a voicemail and also left an email at 1 or 2am stating I would not be in for two weeks because my wife was in labor.
At 8:01am I received a phone call from my boss. As my daughter had been born at 3:15am, I was groggy but answered out of habit. “Where are you?” The voice on the other end asked. “I'm in the Hospital.” “I need you to come in, NOW” said the voice. I told my wife I would be right back as the Office and Hospital were only a three minute drive from one another.
I walk into my bosses office and he is PISSED. He berates me at the top of his voice, insults me for the wearing casual clothing (t-shirt and shorts), and tells me I am late. I – being quite tired – respond with “We discussed this multiple times – my wife was pregnant and I would be taking time off when she gives birth.”
He responds with, and I will never forget: You weren't the one in labor, why do you need to miss work?
I stood up, gave him the double deuce (two middle fingers), told him to go fuck himself, and walked out.
That is my anti-work story. This was nearly ten years ago, and this guy is STILL the IT Director for that company. Everyone else quit within two months.