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Bullying boss, gaslighting, team is dissolving – when and how to quit?

I'm in my final year of my MSW (Master of Social Work) program. I've worked at an LGBTQ+ clinic as a Medical Case Manager and my population is people living with HIV, usually newly diagnosed. Hours – 40, salary ~$58k I love the patients so much and I love the work I do, when I can do it (aka not tons of drama and my manager messing up majorly on her responsibiliites, like forgetting to assign patients to case managers, which she projects is always someone else's fault). I started as the first of two medical case managers, for a pilot program. I've been there about 9 months, and I've seen the other medical case manager get fired in the first month and I was going in between two clinics while in school, burning myself out. We finally got 2 new case managers. One is quitting on May 19 and…


I'm in my final year of my MSW (Master of Social Work) program.

I've worked at an LGBTQ+ clinic as a Medical Case Manager and my population is people living with HIV, usually newly diagnosed. Hours – 40, salary ~$58k

I love the patients so much and I love the work I do, when I can do it (aka not tons of drama and my manager messing up majorly on her responsibiliites, like forgetting to assign patients to case managers, which she projects is always someone else's fault).

I started as the first of two medical case managers, for a pilot program. I've been there about 9 months, and I've seen the other medical case manager get fired in the first month and I was going in between two clinics while in school, burning myself out. We finally got 2 new case managers. One is quitting on May 19 and the other has an offer to go back to her old job, and will leave May 1 (but she hasn't told my boss yet). I had to train all of the new people (including an intern) and create an SOP because my manager was never there. I told her I needed her support on those things and she just paid me lip service “empathy.”

My program manager/supervisor told me my caseload would be between 20-25 and that I could WFH when I had virtual appts. She found out a coworker was arriving 2 hours late for months (the one leaving May 19), and she blamed me because I didn't tell her and told me she couldn't trust me anymore. I explained to my supervisor that I work at another clinic, didn't know she was arriving late, and it's not my responsibility to manage my coworkers' schedules. She agreed. Mind you, she works from home, never came in to support me at all, and has made my caseload up to 30 with no respect to me saying I'm burnt out.

On Monday, she planned a 4 hour HR meeting. Before this meeting, I asked if I could have an agenda, and she “laugh” reacted and changed the topic in our group message on Teams. I then sent a message for a meditation and explained how I was feeling burnt out and wished we could work together as a team, because I care about the patients. She laughed at my message and said “have a good weekend!”

Then, at our 4 hour HR meeting, she gaslit us the entire time about what she's said about WFH – basically that we cannot WFH anymore, ever again. She also told us that she “never told us a number” for our caseload, and I basically told her she was lying in front of HR and that she told us 20-25. She then said “well, other places have more” and she wrote down 35 as my caseload cap.

She also did not hire anyone to replace the coworker who is leaving May 19, and she's had 4+ weeks of knowing this person would leave, and that she has a high caseload that would fall on the other 2 case managers if she didn't hire anyone.

And now, my coworker is leaving. So it would just be me.

I don't trust my boss at all. I applied to do my Fall 2023 internship at this agency, which was a pain in the ass with my school, and I was the only one in my cohort to get approved. But now, I feel like leaving and getting another internship. I've been feeling so overwhelmed, burnt out, crying, etc. also because she literally dismisses all of my concerns and gaslights us (in many other ways).

How do I tell her I'm quitting? Should I go to HR or her boss? The entire team is dissolving and the pts will not have any case management, and I feel guilty, but my mental health cannot sustain this.

I'm at the point, I almost just don't want to return. After the Monday 4 hour HR meeting, I have been taking PTO (I had about a week accrued). I might come in and put in my 2 weeks, and just not respond to her and do everything I can for the patients.

I was also thinking of getting FMLA for mental health, if I can, and trying to see if she leaves her position once her entire team quits?

**Extra info:

– Someone who knew my boss before her role called her “lazy, manipulative, and a liar,” which is why he did not want to work on her team

– The two people are quitting because they said the job experience has been “traumatic”

– HR is totally on my boss' side

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