I'm beyond frustrated at the moment, and since I can't really do anything about it, I might as well vent.
I have crippling anxiety—pretty much something I've been dealing with since my early teens. And, yes, I'm also medicated for it. I live in a small country where jobs (especially half-way decent paying ones) aren't easy to come by, so “just quitting” isn't something I can afford to do at the moment if I want a roof over my head. I'm on rent and don't really have anywhere else to go.
Long story short, I get contacted today (Saturday) that tomorrow (Sunday) my whole team will be going to a nightclub and It'd be in my best interest to attend. As you might've guessed, I don't cope well with loud and crowded environments. I am very much prone to full on panic attacks. So, I naturally think of an excuse along the lines of 'Oh, sorry, it's my mom's birthday'. Colleague says its cool and that he'll tell our boss. Crisis averted, right?
Well, bossman called me a few hours ago and said that everybody will be there and that attendance is “heavily encouraged” and, likewise, not showing up would be interpreted as me not caring about the team. I don't, but that's beside the point. I tried using the same excuse, he says I'll just have to “plan around it”, since, apparently, me and a few other new people are a big reason the whole thing was organized in the first place—so it would give everybody a chance to meet us.
I finally tell him the actual reason; He essentially laughs and tells me that It'll be fine! And that I just need to “get out of my comfort zone”, and then pretty much tells me where we will be meeting and that they'll be waiting for me.
So, yeah. I guess I'll go and hope I don't lose my shit in front of everybody.