I applied and passed my interview but as almost always with me I am very anxious about going there and that I should be there in a little over a month.
It's a job that more or less matches my skills and experience and the company doesn't look too bad, but I can't see myself making the trip, being surrounded by people on this call center, this open space, eating around people at noon, being surrounded
Having to undergo pressure, forcing myself to be a certain way, having to electronically badge at each door, having to say hello and goodbye and pretending to have a conversation and be sociable.
I know most people don't totally understand me. And I don't blame them, I know I am the issue and that I have problems, I am not normal.
I live for nothing and I get no pleasure from this life anyway. I know I have to work and we are forced to work for decades but I can't, I wish I could, just to be normal like everyone else
There is only one solution left for me and even that I don't know if I will ever be able to do it