Just to mention, im not physically disabled, incapable, just an adult with depression anxiety, schizo and possibly autism and adhd, on the spectrum… On the outside I look like any other average alt girl but somehow due to a bad upbringing of divorced and remarried parents and being raised constantly on the run, from moving houses to moving schools, all my life ive worked at so many different jobs that are pretty entry level. Retail, customer service, hospitality, hairdressing, etc. Etc. I never seemed to be able to stay till after training days are done. When it comes to actually starting a casual part time or full time job, i get major anxiety and the fear of being around people scares me. Id rather have the joy of missing out than FOMO ngl. Not exactly sure what the trigger is to backing out of jobs constantly, but all Ive experienced is overworking till I burn out till near fainting either that or being kicked out of a job for them replacing me with a better worker.
At the moment Ive found a luxurious job with kind people who work with me (even when i was delusional at times) and its grand opening is a slow ease into the job. Im managing! But at the same time Ive just sent an email to reduce workload. Very nervous as I wait for the reply but the full time job starts in two days. I already feel like quitting.
Im really questioning my motives and life goals now…Should I be working in a more remote/inconventional job? Or should I soldier on to complete my set of life goals even when its challenging asf?!
Hugeee dilemma.