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Antiwork

An open letter to my boss’ wife

Your husband, my boss, brings home a ~$260,000 salary with a 25% annual bonus and a 40% long term bonus on top of that. His work is considered on overhead and literally everyone who works direct (i.e., client contracts) are billed so that their labor covers his salary. They aren't eligible for bonuses the way that he is; they aren't high enough up the chain, even though literally they are doing the client's work. And what exactly does he do to deserve such an extravagant amount of money and bonuses no one else is eligible for? Literally sits in meetings and mouths off. Is supposed to come with a business plan for our unit and merely had us complete the plan and he just copied and pasted our comments. We do his work for him, but don’t get paid what he gets paid. Literally lies to me about the reasons…


Your husband, my boss, brings home a ~$260,000 salary with a 25% annual bonus and a 40% long term bonus on top of that. His work is considered on overhead and literally everyone who works direct (i.e., client contracts) are billed so that their labor covers his salary. They aren't eligible for bonuses the way that he is; they aren't high enough up the chain, even though literally they are doing the client's work. And what exactly does he do to deserve such an extravagant amount of money and bonuses no one else is eligible for?

Literally sits in meetings and mouths off.

Is supposed to come with a business plan for our unit and merely had us complete the plan and he just copied and pasted our comments. We do his work for him, but don’t get paid what he gets paid.

Literally lies to me about the reasons something wasn’t done, when in fact he chose to not do what he said he would do. Then he proceeds to accuse me of lying to him about him agreeing to do said things!

Literally lies to me, saying other people say things about me to him when they said no such things (verified by the people themselves).

Ignores requests to go over my yearly goals and then, after confronting him, condescendingly tells me to my face that “I should know all of this” when my role is a brand new role to the company.

Literally waits weeks or even months to approve things he asks for!

Fucking waits weeks to tell me about the job offer to take said role.

Questions my ability to get my work done right and on time, my understanding of basic policies

Dismisses my ideas or talks over me on more than one occasion.

I complete four major projects all due in one week, and practically killed myself to do it (multiple proposals including one massive one and project kickoff with a customer) and he proceeds with only bringing up the little bit of negative feedback. No appreciation for the success I’ve achieved.

Is disrespectful of my decision to not drink at an after-work thing (I was breastfeeding at the time). Not only did he proceed to make it known to other people at the table that I’m breastfeeding (when I hadn’t told all of them as it’s private, frankly medical information). He Literally tells me that there isn’t much alcohol in breastmilk (as calculated by him and his wife) and that he had no issues growing up in an Italian family and drinking wine when he was eight years old.

I’m not the only one dealing with bullshit. When it was brought up that another top performing employee had been put in for a particular leadership program, he flat out he wouldn’t have put them in if he had been in charge at the time. Nevermind how so many other employees agree how competent they are. They are transferring out as a result of this comment and non-attempt at promoting them. Stills others (that I know of) have complained of off-color remarks and communication issues. God only knows what he’s said to them and what else he’s said/done to people I don’t know about.

Claims he’s all for an inclusive, diverse workplace – proceeds to participate in the usual boys’ club bullshit. Meanwhile four of his direct reports have transferred out, including three women and not including the person above. With any kind of luck I’ll be next.

Does nothing to advocate for a male employee who wanted to use intermittent parental leave.

What does my hard work get you? Well it gets you the ability to not have to work for such an asshole. It gets you the ability to stay home with your kids, and oh by the way, by staying home I mean you drop them off at school, get to train for an ultramarathon with a personal trainer or do acupuncture to improve your running, ride the horses that you can afford (and nobody else can), sip your wine (that your husband my boss has told me you like to drink). It gets you nice international vacations (to Iceland and wherever). It gets you nine acres of land that you were able to buy cheap at the bottom of the housing crash 12 years ago and has doubled! In value over the past 12 years. It gets you the ability to refinance your house to a 15 year mortgage so it can be paid off early. It gets you the ability to afford installing a brand new patio, and God only knows what else (no taking out home equity required).

What does it get him? Besides the salary? He gets be considered high potential, on the VP track to make even more money. He gets the privilege of complaining that other parents should keep their kids home from school if sick (nice in theory, not possibly in practice given how few people get the kind of PTO he gets, let alone can afford to have one parent stay at home full time). I’d like to see him have to stay home with a sick kid. I’ve never seen him cancel a meeting due to childcare since I started working for him. Must be nice since you do all of that for him so he can focus on his career of acting like a jackass to everyone else.

And what does my hard work get me? I don’t get to stay home with my baby the way you do. I don’t get that choice; I have to fucking work because I’m not old enough to have bought a house at the bottom of the housing market crash and because my husband had to take out student loans to attend the same school you got to attend for free purely because your father taught there. I don’t get much time to do hobbies because I have to fucking work full time; in fact I work over time and your husband, my boss, has not once ever commented that I’m working too hard. I hardly sleep at night because I have to deal with your asshole husband and I can’t afford to just quit my job to stay home. I have to find another job in this shit market. As your asshole husband said, I’m irritable all the time, mainly because I have to deal with him. And believe me, my own husband has noticed. I’m never in a good mood at home.

I’ll bet he doesn’t speak to you the way he speaks to me. I’ll bet he treats you like a queen. I’ll bet he brags about having such a wonderful, doting wife and mother to his children. I’ll bet you get everything you want. But just know it’s off the backs of everyone else's hard work and labor that he takes credit for. Just know it's because he treats me and a lot of other employees like fucking garbage.

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The rich in this country had better watch out. This gravy train of living so much better than everyone else and treating everyone else like garbage ain't going to last. We need national strikes and protests. We need to take back what is rightfully ours, what we've worked hard for and they've been keeping for themselves.

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