Asked my boss for raise after working for 3 years with him and he sent me this in email

my dear employee, let me tell you a fascinating story. Once upon a time, in a land far, far away, there was a magical creature called a 'raise.' Legends say it was given to those who toiled tirelessly, showed unwavering loyalty, and possessed exceptional skills. Alas, in our reality, such tales remain mere fantasies. But fear not, for I offer you something far greater than a raise – the honor of working for me! Now, back to your duties, my brave soul