It's taken me a LONG time to get to where I am now. The TL;DR version is that I went through a severely traumatic upbringing dealing with gangs, murders, multiple forms of abuse, etc. Understandably this continues the cycle, because such behavior is normalized. I never became the monsters I was surrounded with, but the PTSD is alive and well. So I was in my mid 20s before I was actually in a not abusive relationship and didn't have to ask permission to work. I wish I was joking.
This means I'm behind as fuck when it comes to navigating office politics. Through my years in retail, I learned not to be so reliable, because people will take advantage. It took a long time for me to let go of the extreme high standards of work ethic and allow myself to be a person. I learned that the better you are at your job, you're just rewarded with more work, expected to pick up the slack of others, with no increase in pay. Fine, I'll earn my paycheck, maybe help others out if I'm ahead on my own stuff, but never bend over backwards. There are people at my current job who, without ever working my position, have suggested to my boss that the tasks I do as FAVORS for people I like and respect should just be added to my workload – and it's never the person I'm doing a favor for, because it's usually the same 2 people, who very much see it for what it is.
I thought after all that blew over, it'd be whatever. Well, I'm in intense therapy, EMDR, and dealing with a new ADHD diagnosis that badly needs treatment, and meds so far have been a struggle. There's no psychiatrist within a hundred miles that accepts my insurance, so my clinic has a setup for that. I go there and do telehealth with a psych several states over. He's only available on Wednesdays, because he does this for multiple clinics. Thursdays, is the only opening for my therapists, because due to bs policies, she has to see x amount of people per week, and she has a waiting list of over 70 people currently. If I'm unable to see her regularly, they will force her to kick me off. When I tell you I NEED this therapy it ain't no joke. I also JUST got a car and am working on my license. They're aware. I've always been in on time despite this.
So a while back I made an offer. One of the two positions I fill there, they don't have a person for my weekend off (everyone gets every other weekend, it's a hospital we are never closed). I said I need to change my availability for my mental health, and offered to pick up both weekends.
Fast forward a few months, I've been working every weekend, and now they're insisting on every holiday as well, saying I agreed to it. I came up with the plan, and that absolutely was not part of it. There was a whole stink and multiple coworkers backed me up and said I have to put my foot down because giving up a holiday I'm technically supposed to have off (also an alternating schedule) would set a precedent. Making a big stink was extremely difficult but necessary. I sobbed angrily while over explaining. But I got that day.
Now I've got about 15 days where I cannot be there, I followed proper protocol, put everything on the calendar, plenty of warning. And they've scheduled me to work both weekends. But I made the mistake of telling one or two people that I wouldn't be out of town the whole time. And everyone knows about the car. So the lesson is… don't tell them shit. I'm on the hook for a car payment, and options for work around here are complete ass. Leaving would jeapordize that, and all the work I'm putting into my mental health – because I'd lose the best insurance I've ever had…
It really feels like if they know anything about you, they'll hold it over your head and use it against you. I want to quit, and now I can't.