THREE MONTHS I LOST MY SOCIAL LIFE AND HOBBIES TO FOCUS 100% ON WORK. I wanted and needed the raise. I needed to prove myself to be converted to full time (I'm a contractor). And all that work was for nothing. I sat there looking like a fucking clown seeing my coworkers get paid time off, vacations, and sick days while I slaved away when they were at the beach. And I don't even get those benefits because I'm a contractor.
I slipped into more suicidal depression for being so much inside working my days away for nothing. I'm still a contractor without job security, and they never offered me to be full time. Meanwhile others constantly get the privilege of getting PTO, and there's MANY who are always on PTO.
I wasted my days. I wasted my time. I wanted to travel to the coast and take a mini vacation because I have been over a year working without benefits and not a single off day. My summer plans got ruined. meanwhile others got their stupid fucking paid time off and vacations
By mid June I stopped giving a fuck and I started to do the bare minimum, I am done pushing myself for nothing. Get a new job? HA. AHHAHAHAHAA. How can a junior-level useless idiot like me compete with 900 APPLICANTS IN ONE SINGLE JOB POSTING? to make it worse I am not even white nor male.