I’m really depressed and feeling hopeless. I graduated from my state’s public university with honors in 2018 with a SCM degree. I know everyone I graduated with in my class started with 55k minimum, 70k average starting salaries. I haven’t gotten that lucky. I have been interviewed extensively which I seem to fail at, because I think I have autism or aspbergers. I know it is not my resume because I had my resume revised by numerous deans and professors and recruiters saying it was a strong resume. Even by people who work in prestigious companies like Google or Cisco etc. I feel so hopeless.
I get denied from all the prestigious companies that are in the Forbes 500. I’ve only been making minimum wage and now I’m almost 30. I feel devastated. My first job in 2019 that I bent over backwards to obtain, was a small town job, I was a warranty associate, worked in an office and warehouse for $12 an hour doing returns. Lasted one year before they fired me for crying too much when the other girls would constantly make fun of me and bully me, mocking me daily if “took my meds.” Got unemployment (ashamed about living off it)—Then 2020 Covid happened and I tried applying to every Supply Chain/ Logistics company and 0 luck. Tried my luck at every grocery store just to get laughed at and turned away. I’m not even good enough for grocery stores. Late 2020 I got a job working as a call center representative (appointment scheduling) for a medical branch, making min. wage again. Stayed for 6 months and applied nonstop to supply chain jobs til I found nothing. Then I decided to be a poll worker for an election on my day off, and met a nice old lady there who happened to be a project manager. She landed me a job at her company so I left the call center job. They paid me a little over minimum wage (19$ the most I ever made my entire life) and I got complimented a lot on my work ethic but scolded a lot for being very quiet and awkward introverted and ultimately not a good fit for working in such a prestigious nyc company. I got fired after 6 months. Of course not being a good fit qualified me for unemployment so I shamefully acquired and lived off unemployment again. I finally contacted a school district asking to be a substitute and they hired me, still making minimum wage ($85 a day, and only able to work 4 days maximum a week if I’m lucky).
Decided I needed to keep looking and looking and found a family owned warehouse company that wanted to hire me for $14 an hour, that’s 1 hour commute. I honestly turned it down because I can’t even handle this anymore. I’m about to give up. I’m literally homeless. I’m so depressed and feel like ending it all. I don’t know how other people do it, straight from graduation but I am cursed.
For some background info, I don’t really have any family for support or guidance. My family abandoned me when I was young, so I do not have any guidance or support system beyond what college provided. For me, it was hard because I do not have friends or boyfriends like those without families usually have, to fall back on. it’s just been downhill from there, and a struggle to survive. I don’t know what I’m doing with my life or where to go from here. I’m absolutely lost.