I got a job working at a home decor store, which another company inside dealt with shopping at home. To better describe myself, I'm a guy in my 30s, while the coworker is a female in her 30s as well, but gives us the impression that she doesn't make the best choices in life and has almost zero self-respect, even as a mother to a 5-year old.
We didn't really hit it off as I was unsure about dating a coworker for the second time, but from a different job a few years back. Most of what she said to me at first made a whole lot of sense, like her ex-boyfriend being jobless, taking her money, and being a typical deadbeat dad who doesn't want to get a job and contribute an income. She also told me she was in the process of leaving that idiot. During that process, I developed some feelings towards her, but didn't want to be romantically involved until her ex-boyfriend was gone once and for all.
After like three days ghosting me, she went on to say a lot of stuff that didn't make any sense like being stuck in a one-year lease and that she purchased a new washer and dryer for her unit. At the time I didn't know she was giving off hints that she reconciled with her loser ex-boyfriend and she had dyed her hair a darker colour. I kinda snapped at work, although I have my anger issues in check and I really didn't appreciate her giving off hints, which I'm not a big fan of mind games and that a discussion would've been more respectful and I had mentioned honestly was very important and she didn't respect that. I would've been totally fine if she came to me and said I only want to be friends because me and my ex-boyfriend worked everything out as he said he would improve by getting a job and contributing financially.
I strongly suspected that this coworker did this deliberately as a means to lead me on and hurt me. This was by far worse than rejection and just a sick thing to do to someone who takes the time to communicate at work and through text to see where things end up, even as friends because I also wanted to grow my social circle.
It was challenging having to work together because I tried my best to avoid her, especially not wanting to be in the same breakdown as her because I ended up despising her as a person and routinely gave her dirty looks and nodded my head rather than saying anything to her. Maybe I should've had more class, but she made me sick to my stomach whenever I saw her.
I felt good quitting, but on fair terms as my boss couldn't fire her because she didn't do anything wrong, couldn't fire her because she didn't work for our company, and her boss backed her up regardless and praised her. I just wanted to get away from her and start fresh elsewhere. About two months after I quit, I ended up being in the same grocery store as her and I paid absolutely no attention to her and just went on with my grocery shopping and left.
My message to her would be to make the right choices in life and not bring deadbeat father figures into her life, develop self-respect for herself even as mother, reevaluate your life, and stop having the appearance of his quiet librarian when you're the type of female coworker that leads anyone on with the deliberate purpose of hurting them. You probably couldn't handle being a single mom, so you settle with any guy who gives you attention and doesn't take common interests, stability, and chemistry into consideration. She is the main reason why I opted to take an indefinite hiatus from dating altogether because I'd rather remain single and have a drama-free lifestyle.