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Antiwork

A funny story of how the decision to slash our lunch breaks from 1 hour to 30 minutes backfired…

From their winter vacation homes, the owners of the company I work at thought it a good idea to cut our lunch breaks from 1 hour to 30 minutes to increase operational efficiency. I asked the HR manager how operational efficiency would be affected under this new lunch break policy after I sh*t all over the office floor. This is not an idle threat; I have struggled for the last five years with an aggressive form of IBD/IBS-D (still being investigated/treated). Eating anything is almost always followed by violent diarrhea within 15-30 minutes. I have been managing this by not eating or taking my lunch breaks at home (I live nearby work), and I am starting new medications. However, with only 30 minutes, I would have to take my lunch break at work in my cubicle since we have no break room and live with all the consequences that entail.…


From their winter vacation homes, the owners of the company I work at thought it a good idea to cut our lunch breaks from 1 hour to 30 minutes to increase operational efficiency.

I asked the HR manager how operational efficiency would be affected under this new lunch break policy after I sh*t all over the office floor.

This is not an idle threat; I have struggled for the last five years with an aggressive form of IBD/IBS-D (still being investigated/treated). Eating anything is almost always followed by violent diarrhea within 15-30 minutes. I have been managing this by not eating or taking my lunch breaks at home (I live nearby work), and I am starting new medications.

However, with only 30 minutes, I would have to take my lunch break at work in my cubicle since we have no break room and live with all the consequences that entail.

What if I can't make it to the bathroom in time and sh*it on the floor? Are they prepared for this scenario? Do they want to clean all that sh*it up in an office of 80 people?

What's that, you say? You aren't prepared to deal with me sh*tting all over your office? Then don't f**k with my lunch break!

The new policy was retracted.

My Ass: 1

Capitalist Ruling Class: 0

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