UK, England.
My workplace is filled with toxicity. I’m fed up. I’m looking for work elsewhere, mass applying for anything, even if it’s a “demotion” because the urge to just walk out is so strong I battle with myself every day.
Bullying is rife. I have been bullied TWICE at this place. The first time was in 2018. They dealt with it. The bully was eventually let go. The second time was recent. I was signed off work for 3 weeks because it was the final straw.
The situation: I was close to a colleague of mine. Let’s call her G. We both confided in each other. I went through a very traumatic experience last year, and she was there for me. Every day she would ask me how I am, and I was not fine, but she was sympathetic. She would tell me I needed to get signed off and look after myself. I kept brushing that off, telling her it’s fine and I am managing as best as I can. Then one day, I over hear G talking to our manager (let’s call him B.) Her exact words: “she’s doing my nut in”
I was shocked. I froze and heard her just pouring out how fed up of me she is, how I’m clearly not dealing with life, how she doesn’t care if I’m not doing well. Then came the next blow. B says “I’m sick of it.”
A colleague who had been so amazing just stabbed me in the back, and so did my manager, who I was also close to.
When I went back to my desk, I ended up crying silently. I stood up and went to HR. I told her what happened. I was crying, full on sobbing. HR gave me tissues, and told me that the best idea would be for me to confront them. What shit advice.
I called another manager (who we were going to be moved under – let’s call her D) and she immediately told me to pack my stuff and work from home for the rest of the day. I did. When I packed up, G and B stared. G asked if I was okay and needed to talk. I wanted to tell her to fuck off. I ignore her and left.
The next morning, I sat in the same office space as D, because I did not want to face G and B. D took me aside and we had a long talk. I ended up having a breakdown, and going home. My doctor signed me off, and prescribed diazepam to help with the panic attacks I was having.
I have since returned to work. I haven’t seen or spoken to G and B. I have moved to the other office. G and B know what happened. I asked D to explain to them. I wanted them to know how they made me feel. I don’t want to face them.
Here’s another kicker! G was promoted. Silently. No announcement in the newsletter like usual. She is no longer joining the rest of us when moving to D.
I have developed a portfolio of all the work I have completed, cost savings etc and B used to tell me I excel. I hit over 100% of my targets for a bonus. G barely scraped by, because she complained to me about it.
Clearly, G has been stabbing me in the back for some time. I am not the sort of person who runs to B to complain and bitch and moan about someone. But it is clear that G is. She was manipulating B against me and I’ve only now realised.
When I hand my notice in, I will sit down with the MD, HR manager, and B, and I will tell them exactly why I am leaving. I will say it professionally, factually, and as emotionless as possible. The urge to tell them to all fuck off will be strong. I feel like I’m being slowly pushed out. Screw them.
Until I hand my notice in, I am keeping my head down and doing the minimum my job requires. My only reason to go in is the need to pay bills.