I live and work in a red state. Let me tell you, it's about as wild as you can imagine.
The majority of folks drink, do drugs, and fuck like rabbits, but they're in church on Sunday or adamantly Christian and will absolutely verbally (and sometimes physically) throttle you if you're different in anyway (ie LGBTQ+, atheist or not Christian, from a different background, etc)
I spent a lot of time hiding and being quiet but something snapped in me in the last few years and I just can't do that anymore. I don't know if my age has made me cranky and bold or if I finally just broke down and let the lack of fucks I have fester unfettered by criticism.
I'm pagan. I'm pro LGBTQ+ and, not that I have to explain myself, I am because Christianity has not been kind to me or anyone, really, and I just don't give a shit if someone is different and believe they should be allowed to exist. It doesn't affect me. It doesn't do anything to impede my own existence. Seeing a gay couple or a trans person doesn't send me into an unnatural rage my flesh can't contain. It usually doesn't even register on my conscious radar.
At my place of work, we have a small team of mostly older women. I've had a few run ins with one already, we'll call her Sandra.
One day, Sandra brought up the evils of abortion. I stated that for me, and many like me, abortion would be the only way to save our lives, as we can't carry a pregnancy with the very real and present threat of death. It was a statement meant to offer a different view and to also get this conversation the fuck out of my cubicle. But of course, this was not the case. My coworker doubles down and tells me to put my faith in God who would heal me and help me make children…
So, fun fact about me, I lost the ability to poker face somewhere between working retail and getting on antidepressants.
I immediately cringed and it was only then that she backed off.
The next encounter was when Sandra and another coworker, Ashley, were making fun of trans people. I stated that I have a trans cousin because any normal, well adjusted human being would immediately nic that convo in the bud. Nope. Immediately, I'm bombarded with questions and confrontation.
Now, I don't shy from these things. If you can voice your violence and ignorance, I can pop you in the mouth with reason. Upon learning that other cultures had names for trans and gay people long before colonization, like some Native American cultures, Sandra made a stereotypical “Indian dance” and said quote “what did they call them? Ooga booga?!”
If looks could kill, y'all… That entire building would have been a crater long forgotten by enlightened civilization. I was not amused.
Sandra closed by stalking towards me stating that her God “was not involved in such confusion”.
Most recently, I was talking to another coworker who seems to have self awareness and a soul. She mentioned that her husband was pagan and I stated that I was, as well. Simply a statement. No different than my coworkers talking about their church events and saying they'll pray for whatever.
Holy shit, something broke lose in Sandra and she went on the offensive.
Now, I am no stranger to being witnessed to. Depending on how it's approached, it can be a great opportunity to share, learn, and be friendly. I've had great experiences in the past with well meaning people and it was a very respectful, mutual understanding of one another's worlds.
This was the Spanish Inquisition, and no, I did NOT expected it, as is tradition.
She was very upset that I would not believe in her God, “creator of everything, existence itself, the world”. She asked me what I believed in and what the purpose of life was to me, and I answered as I was backed into a corner here with no leadership on site. She made a point of my beliefs being pointless. She asked “so, you don't believe in thou shalt not kill or steal” and I smiled at her. I told her we have one belief harm ye none. I, myself, am a vegetarian, I don't even kill bugs in my house.
She countered with “being a good person isn't enough to get you into heaven as there can be no forgiveness without the shedding of blood”. I shook my head and said we don't believe in heaven or hell. There's no need to shed blood.
Her closing statement was a very frustrated “I hope you come to Jesus”. I nodded and thanked her before the conversation finally died a violent, drug out death.
My other coworker, Martha, who's also Christian and wasn't a part of the trans hate, told me later that she believes in spreading The Word but that Sandra was too harsh. Martha was not pleased with or in support of what she did or said. She reassured me that she adores me, will always help in anyway, and thoroughly enjoy working with me and the humor we share. Seeing that display definitely left a mark on her, though, and I think Martha may have some new thoughts on Sandra, now.
I know I probably shouldn't have said anything at all, but I lack the ability to stay silent in the presence of hate and violence. I can't keep my dignity at the end of the day if I just clam up and put my head down.
I only spoke about my beliefs out of nervousness at the aggression Sandra was displaying. It felt like if I didn't answer, she'd freak out hard. So, it was an attempt at appeasing her and giving her what she wanted; someone to throttle.
The coworker with the pagan husband, we'll call her Liz, thanked me later and said her husband was happy to hear he's not alone. I told her that I think I upset Sandra and she waved it off and told me not to worry. That made me feel better.
I can't go to anyone about this, even though it's making me increasingly uncomfortable and the level of aggression seems to be increasing. I'm waiting for her to pop off at the wrong time and someone else take offense. She regularly engages in this kind of speech with customers and I know one day, she'll say the wrong thing in the wrong person's presence.
I'm on her radar now, and I know it's going to get worse. I'm hoping it'll either come to a head with a customer or I can get transferred soon.
It's making me very ill at ease, though.
Have any of you ever been here before?