Over the last 2 months I've noticed my memory going to absolute hell and I find myself just forgetting random work things and I dread my shift because of what I'll forget
today and I'm assuming it's all stress related.
I've tried writing things down and it's the same result. Even though I'm part time, our environment can get incredibly stressful when we're fast paced.
My supervisor can be a good person and she's been trying to help me in navigating those situation because my anxiety can get the best of me and I sweat. Most of the time it isn't super helpful. I know repetition is how I learn best and I've mentioned that several times. She's a quick learner. I am not. While it's nice she's extending her time, I've learned how to read between the lines. Her words of “if I didn't think this would work out I wouldn't invest my time in you” isn't reassuring. It's “were already short staffed enough. Please don't leave.”
I've asked to become full time since I started. I'm sure it would help my memory and they wouldn't be as short like they're complaining. I'm met with no every single time. I know I'm an incredibly hard worker. Though, honestly, the company has more flaws than not and the cons outweigh the pros, so I know I'll never make a living here. (I don't even make 11 an hour.)
Im looking for other jobs. But I'm terrified because this job is “tolerable” in terms of I know the mechanics of what I'm doing, people have given me great feedback on customer service and I like most of the people I work with.
The only reason I'm looking elsewhere is more money and to become full time so I can start my life and not feel like a loser. Unfortunately the market continues to be garbage and nothing is a fit, plus im trying to line up something so I'm not without a plan before leaving.
It's a toss up. Stay where I'm getting more anxious but I know the routine, or hope to god I find something that pays more and it's something I genuinely like, and isn't bogging me down with insane stress.
I don't want to feel like this anymore.