Honestly I just need to vent anywhere.
I'm in EU, but it shouldn't chang anything. I'm a high functioning neurodivergent: I can mask and pass as a NT easily, but I always struggle with communicating and myself in general due to the 'tism. Think of it as being extremely introverted in my case. It doesn't help my current job is actively making me wish I was dead on a scale of 8 from that scale from 1-10. I am in therapy and the solution so far has been “you're fine, let's schedule a meeting in a month while you find new a new job” so that's what I'm doing.
Anyway, 80+ applications and 35 known rejections in I finally landed an interview from another company in a field I'm very passionate about (think cybersecurity; SOC stuff so documenation, logging, not front-office stuff). They were looking for someone with little to no experience in the field but was knowledgeable about the topics and willing to learn. Then I landed a second interview at the role with someone who would have been my boss and the recruiter, and then a third at a role with a C-suite member.
So after a long, drawn out process of 3 interviews over a month, I got the call today that they will unfortunately not go forward with me because the C-suite didn't find me to be “confident enough”. I was also told the c-suit thought I wasn't “pushing back enough”.
I was told I have the required skillset to do the job; I have the correct mindset to do the job; I was very prepared and very skillful with knowledge in this job and impressed the recruiter and the person who would have been my boss as they loved me. Hell, they admited the C-suite agreed I had all the required skills, but the C-suite STILL rejeced me on the basis that I'm not “confident enough”. And even if they see that I could gain confidence in the role and has potential, it would not be “fast enough” for the c-suite's taste.
It just… I just feel so defeated. I don't even know what to say.