Apologies if this is not appropriate for this sub, but it seems like a good place to post a work-related question / advice. I want to get a reality check to see if I'm just super naive / in La La Land or if my husband's work schedule is indeed too much.
We're 33 years old, American. I have had a government job for the last 6 years and even before that, I've always worked for the public sector so my jobs have barely ever gone above 40 hours a week. They've all been pretty standard 9-5, both hourly and salaried, but if I go over, I get comp time by eventually taking time accrued off later. My husband has had private sector jobs for as long as I've known him. The last job, he worked so much overtime and weekends he burnt out and quit, resulting in a 9 month unemployment. He likes his current job, but he's consistently working 10 hours a day. Recently he's also working Sundays (6-8 hours), yesterday he worked about 12 hours, and today he's expecting to stay until midnight (so about 16 hours). There will no compensation in terms of Overtime paid or comp hours. Just expecting to keep going, even throughout the holidays.
He tells me that this is normal and I'm the one with the super cushy job with a lack of grip on reality on how things really work, especially for the private sector. But this seems ridiculous to me, and if this is the case, then this is a major problem. Obviously Americans work too much, but this seems like a stretch, and he should at least be getting compensated.
Am I wrong here, or is his example extreme? It hurts our relationship… I have friends and activities, etc but I admit I'm lonely, especially since I work from home. I love hanging out with him, and it sucks. This also makes me worry about our future since we're thinking about having kids in the next couple years..
Thoughts? Advice? Just would appreciate knowing if I'm totally off base here. Thanks!
TL/DR: Does my husband work too many hours, consistently working 10 – sometimes 16 hours a day without compensation? Or do I just have a very naive experience on work since I've been working for the government so long? Anyway work sucks.