ETA: Throwaway account just in case, ya know
I started a new job 2 weeks ago, and I’m interviewing for another job next week.
Two years ago, I never would have said that, but here I am. Reformed, resisting, ready to sell my labor to the highest bidder.
I’ve been working consistently since I was 15, and I’m almost 40. Literally barely a few months between gigs that whole time, part time while I was in college and law school but always working. I fully bought into the notion that my work needed to be meaningful, and that because I was working in nonprofit jobs or teaching – “helping” jobs – I needed to work hard and work long. Working more than 50 hours a week, taking more on than was feasible, wearing my productivity and overwork like a badge of honor. Checking mail on vacation, living like a work-martyr and feeling useful. I did that for 10 years, with the same non profit for almost that whole time…. until January, when I got laid off.
Queue the existential crisis of my identity no longer being tied to my job. I realized how toxic my organization was. I realized how much my time is worth, how much my peace is worth. I searched, but not too hard. I rested. I read. I did pottery, cooked food, played with my puppy. I lived.
I was hired into a role similar to my old one, a recruitment job. It pays a bit more, and I think I’ll have more autonomy. But honestly? I don’t think about my value the same way anymore, so I’m not sure I’m done looking. If I have to work 40 hours a week, I want as much money and as much flexibility as I can get for my time. And there’s one other big revelation:
You don’t owe your employer a god damned thing.
Not loyalty. Not 100% of your energy. Not a 2 week notice.
Not even if they are solving world hunger, not if you are rescuing kittens. No qualifier. You have one life – and you don’t even know how long it will be. You deserve rest, and enjoyment, and comfort, and your employer will never have that same goal no matter how much they say they care about you.
The people? Of course, be a good human to coworkers and managers. But a company or organization doesn’t have feelings. I felt really safe at my old job, because I knew they loved me and I knew my work was a massive portion of the team’s productivity (I was proud of that). I didn’t ever interview elsewhere, and I got comfortable taking whatever they would give me, which turned out to be a lot of toxicity for not a lot of money, once I had the chance to step back. I also got used to being pressed to give more and more of my time, and myself, until I had no boundaries.
Not working for a few months has cured me.
So next week I’ll interview for a role that makes 50% more than I’m making now. And here’s my favorite part. I mentioned that I work in recruitment, right? No matter what job I take, if I’m in this field, I’m influencing the work culture directly. Recommending ways to attract more qualified candidates and compete with the market (4 day weeks! Work from home! Generous vacation!). I’m pretty high up in the ranks, and folks are really listening because Gen Z? You all are RUTHLESS about your personal time. I fucking love it. So regardless of what I’m making, where I’m working – I’m pushing for more modern, flexible and life-centric working conditions for everyone else in the organization. Doing that while also protecting my own personal time and peace? That’s a life I’m pretty happy with. Even if it does involve selling my time for a few more years