Submitted for entertainment purposes:
Most people open up various investment schemes for “retirement” and then proceed to donate their lives to something they hate for their “retirement goals”…
The SCSP (Societal Collapse Savings Plan) is a retirement plan designed to help you survive the collapse of society. Compared to most people who invest in society, the SCSP is actually a method to bet against those types of investment vehicles. Truly a method for “shorting” society as a whole. Many millennials already subscribe to this program.
The program is based on cashFLOW. You start the process by obtaining as many unsecured credit products as possible such as credit cards and lines of credit. Now spend, spend it all until nearly all of your income goes to servicing the interest. Many people reach this point without even realizing it. You can choose to continue to be a wage slave and attempt to pay off these “debts” or you can continue acquiring items of future value. At some point you will deal with collections and judgments, maybe even declare bankruptcy but prior planning has set you up nicely to weather the credit hit. A few years later start the process again. Why shouldn't you benefit when the printer goes brrrrrr!
The payoff is that if enough people gamed the credit system hard enough like this a financial crisis would be created. Societal collapse would begin and credit scores and balance sheets would lose all relevence. Good on you for acquiring useful tools and becoming self sufficient on all that imaginary money.
If you made it this far congratulations on surviving the death of capitalism.
The above is submitted for entertainment purposes and is not financial advice. 100% satirical