I loved my work and found a great work/life balance during the pandemic when we could work remotely and I know I did really well… well at least according to my yearly assessments.
Now I’m back to stressful commutes and sitting in a grey depressing office. I’ve become more like a zombie, always exhausted, grumpy and depressed. Most days I just blankly sit in front of the computer in the office and I feel I’ve become really bad at my job. I can’t even enjoy my days off as I worry about going back to the office, it’s mostly unconscious anxiety and trauma I think related to years and years of stressful commutes and stressful work before the pandemic.
It’s not like something really bad happens in the office but I just find it so incredibly pointless and stupid and I find it very insulting and demotivating knowing that I could do my job BETTER from home, which I worked hard to prove during the pandemic, but instead I’m forced to sit in some dull building for 8 hours a day while dealing with pointless office bullshit for no reason at all.
I think I’ve actually become depressed as I truly have zero energy and can hardly get out of bed which also makes it hard to look for a new job.