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Antiwork

At my breaking point?

I'm talking myself into quitting my job – welcoming others to join in, as well. The job I currently have is at a college. I work on what's essentially internships for NP students (over 110 each term). The workload is unmanageable. I'd been doing pretty well for about 1 annual cycle, but for a lot of reasons, the whole thing is falling apart. The healthcare industry is collapsing here, so student placements have dried up, which requires more of my time to try to hunt down opportunities and pushes more and more other tasks to the wayside. After nearly 2 years of this, the whole thing has fallen into disrepair. On top of that, I keep track of each students' immunizations including COVID and annual flu, student licensure, certificates, and make sure they keep up with them. When a student does actually get a spot, each of our sites has…


I'm talking myself into quitting my job – welcoming others to join in, as well.

The job I currently have is at a college. I work on what's essentially internships for NP students (over 110 each term).

The workload is unmanageable. I'd been doing pretty well for about 1 annual cycle, but for a lot of reasons, the whole thing is falling apart. The healthcare industry is collapsing here, so student placements have dried up, which requires more of my time to try to hunt down opportunities and pushes more and more other tasks to the wayside. After nearly 2 years of this, the whole thing has fallen into disrepair.

On top of that, I keep track of each students' immunizations including COVID and annual flu, student licensure, certificates, and make sure they keep up with them.
When a student does actually get a spot, each of our sites has different rules and processes for getting them started, with constant need for follow up. It's about 40 different jobs in one.

The quality of my work is plummeting. I'm horribly depressed and anxious 24/7. I haven't been sleeping or eating and I sometimes break down crying after work. My house is a mess because I can't summon the motivation to do anything, everything feels like a waste of time – pointless to even try.

The people in charge have no idea what the job actually entails, either. They don't respect the scope of what I'm asked to do. I had a 3 way meeting last week where Manager A asked me point blank if the job is even possible as I see it. Before I could give an answer, Manager B cut in and said “yes, I think so” – so that was completely pointless and honestly pretty offensive.

They kept hammering in that if I need help, I just need to ask for it. This whole meeting, I was trying to make them understand that I need help and the whole thing fundamentally needs help. All they could offer was that we can work on some processes to manage – but these would be processes that I would create and shoulder for even more work and responsibilities.

On top of that, our technology is about 15 years behind, so everything is inefficient and unreliable. The school has tens of millions of dollars, but somehow none for us.

I had always felt that I had about 3 years at this job, maximum. I had wanted to make sure everything was in reasonable order when I left. Mainly because I felt so guilty that so much had needed to be ignored since I took over. I just feel worse and worse and more beaten down each day.

Of course, they don't pay me enough to stick around or frankly to fix everything that I let lapse. Even if they doubled my pay, I don't think it would be enough to bear this.

So in short – I should quit. Right?

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