Gonna try to keep this as short and vague as possible. I was confronted by my managers the other day and was asked if I enjoyed my job because they noticed recently that I was “disengaged,” and that I’ve been a little “abrasive and blunt” with some of my messages and emails to our sales reps. I asked for them to clarify and to provide examples of what they meant by that.
The two complaints I’ve had were from ones who were on their way out. They’ve resigned. My messages to them were for clarifications on their expenses, just asking for them to clean up some data they’ve provided so we could approve their report. When asked to provide more info they were appalled, “in my six years I’ve never had to provide such information, does this have anything to do with me resigning?” I spoke on the phone with one of them because they called and asked what the hold up was on a report- told him my manager was looking into some things and if you’d like more insight you may contact them. He told my manager later that I had a tone, despite my literally not. These inquires were standard. I’ve used the same verbiage that the rest of my team members have used on theses types of inquires. I’m also still the newest on the team and since day one my managers have had nothing but good things to say about me- I’m sharp and am eager to learn. Managers also have concluded that I need to work on my communication skills.
I had also had some personal issues that I’ve been dealing with the past month, and just generally stressed from outside stuff (working another job and also working on my masters). One of the “cooler” managers pulled me aside and we had a kind of heart to heart after I was confronted by the two and I struggled to not cry. I was a bit taken aback by what they had to say because the issues they brought up weren’t even directly an issue of me. And then to also throw a “do you even like it here, we want you to feel supported and a part of the team.” But that’s also hard to take to heart since my training beyond the basic tasks has been pushed back until recently. I’ve been patient because it has been hectic and they’ve admitted to it, but it’s like they expected more from me regardless. I told them how I felt and kind of embellished it a bit, saying yes I want to work here and want to learn all I can, really enjoy my team. Which is true but I don’t want anything beyond the work I was hired to do. Promotions and being assigned more tasks aside, I feel like I’ve done my part and have supported my team the best I could considering my rushed training. But I felt icky after that. Why do I have to feel like I have to lie so they won’t accuse me of not being a team player or being disengaged? My work has not been bad other than those miscommunications and it’s silly that they bring it back to me being “disengaged”…
I also don’t want my personal life and issues to seep into my work, and I definitely don’t want it to be a factor in gaining sympathy and understanding, or even perceived as me being more engaged with my team and work just because I tell my teammates what I’m going through outside of work, other than the standard small talk stuff.