I currently have the perfect job – it pays well, it’s remote, I’m doing exactly the kind of work I want to do. But my team is so, so cruel. It feels like they go out of their way to bully me.
They talk over me in meetings. They ignore my questions. They ask me to ideate content and pull reports that they never use, then get angry when I have to reprioritize my daily projects to make time for their asks. They don’t communicate when things change and send passive aggressive Slack messages about why I didn’t triple check the process. Or they ask vague questions instead of saying what they need and blowing up at me for not following their directions. I’ve become a project manager for some, sending reminders on THEIR daily projects and explaining everything I’m doing so they seem up to date if our director asks. And then they entirely ignore me when making small talk, they’ll even stay muted and off video if I’m the only person waiting in the call. They’ve made sarcastic comments about my frizzy hair, like we’re in high school?? Then 3 months ago, my manager held an impromptu performance review during my 1:1 and was so harsh, I started sobbing 20 minutes in AND SHE KEPT GOING FOR ANOTHER 50 MINUTES.
I could go on and on. I know it sounds like I’m exaggerating, but I promise I’m not. And my biggest concern is that I have no one I can go to for help, even my director takes part in all this and belittles me in front of the team. So of course they do it too. I’m trying so hard to accommodate their asks and work through all the personality-based critiques from that disastrous 1:1. It just isn’t getting any better.
Everything is pointing towards needing to quit but I can’t get over the money and experience I’d lose out on. I want to believe a career gap wouldn’t dissuade future employers, but the market is so competitive. And there’s also the fact I’ll lose health insurance. I have an emergency fund so it’s manageable, I’m just scared about my career trajectory.
At the end of the day, I know no one should be talked to this way. I can barely believe not a single person has felt empathetic enough to say something, even in private directly to me. The first few months I brushed it all off, but now it’s taking a toll on my mental health. My heart races constantly. I have no energy for my hobbies. I’m a sad, bitter person when I’m with them.
I think I should quit…convince me to do it (or not, idk anymore, i’m just so tired).