It was a nasty break up but I finally left a cut-throat sales and marketing scene from a 50 mil corporation (who somehow thought they were at the same level as Amazon despite being eaten alive by them), who was thoroughly toxic and uninspiring, and this was a couple years before covid turned everything upside down.
5 years later I have since found a new stride and decent way of earning on my terms. At face value it's amazingly liberating to pull this off. And yet, on a daily basis I feel this over-compensating “fuck you look at me now” vindictive feeling that just won't go away. Obviously, they wouldn't even know or care what I'm doing now. I don't know if this is some PTSD shit or what, but it's like some sort of burn scar I cannot cover.
So, even now that I'm emotionally fucked up by my past career but otherwise doing fine financially from my own sheer grit.. did I really break free from this rat race.. or is the damage done?