I worked at a major bank for 4 months alongside a 67 year old guy who felt it was okay to abuse everyone. He would scream outside his office, call women within the firm b*tches and slam his door along with slamming his fists on his desk.
I heard him on the phone with one of his buddies saying,
“…oh yeah, she's very sweet. She comes from an amazing family. Can you believe she's dating a black guy?”
I just sat there with my jaw open….
The stress was unbelievably overwhelming.
I would wake up and feel DREAD coming to work. Blood pressure through the roof. Anxiety to the point of panic attacks. Yet………….those 'golden handcuffs' were slapped on me. My family didn't make it any better.
“Don't you dare leave!! You're getting paid well!!!!”
I was no longer craving the gym. I was no longer craving sex. I was no longer craving friendships and meaningful conversations. My personal life was non existent.
I was a zombie, going through the motions, hunched over in a cubicle.
Am I crazy for placing my mental health above money?
Also, I received an offering as a host at an amazing restaurant with great pay. Am I crazy for feeling happier mingling with people and greeting them as opposed to being stuck in a gray box cut off from the world?