Hey all. I'm an 18 y/o college freshman. Along with school, I started a menial retail job, do volunteer hours and am a captain of my school's competitive mock trial team (which takes up a majority of my time). I am also an honors student with plans to graduate early with two degrees.
As you can probably tell, I'm exhausted. Everyone around me seems to downplay how much stuff I actually do. My family life is pretty conflicted and home (I live with parents and commute to save money) is often somewhere I don't want to be. I haven't gotten a chance to write, draw, play games, or just have alone time in a while.
When I mentioned this to my boss he offered to shorten my hours, which was kind, but at this point I am doing so horrible mentally that I'm considering just quitting. I told my mom and she said to quit mock trial instead (to which I responded that mock makes me really happy, and I'm pre-law), my sister heavily implied I'd be making a mistake by quitting my job because I'd lose financial freedom.
I'm aware that I need the money to be able to get out on my own + do the things that make me happy, but at this point I just feel like a janky machine losing steam. For context, I was diagnosed with major depression four years ago. I've gotten pretty good at masking it. No one knows this but I have been skipping classes, eating shit fast food and developed a caffeine dependency since I just don't have the time/energy to cook. When I get home, I plummet into bed just to wake up exhausted all over again.
This may seem like a self-pity post, because I am aware so many of you work much harder because unlike my privileged self, you may not have a choice. I just need some advice and support from people who've been through similar situations. I am open to criticism.
Am I weak? Should I push myself more?
Or is my decision okay? What would you do in my situation?
TLDR: college student tired and feeling guilty for wanting to quit job