This is a bit of a rant but everytime I start a new job I'm told I'm slow and not confident enough and it's really getting to me. I'm in my 20's and really trying out different and see what I want to go into. I'm decently educated and a hard worker, it's just I'm not the best when starting out. I'm nervous and I don't want to mess anything up especially if I get in the way of others.
I got “let go” in December of all times from a clinic because I was not confident enough and slow. That was really disheartening because I felt like I was doing great I really put myself out there and was great with customers. I don't think my coworkers liked me much. Since they tricked me by saying I was needed me into this notoriously rude doctors room and was promptly yelled at by the doctor and heard snickering outside of the room. I tired to explain to the doctor but I quickly had the door shut in my face. I sobbed in the back room after that. A week later I was fired by that same doctor. Granted I wasn't the fastest at my job or that confident it just hurt alot and made me so angry and bitter after that.
I couldn't get a job until 5 months later unfortunately, so I ended up taking this minimum wage deli job which I just started today. I meet my trainer she seems pretty nice, has a thick accent but I can work with it. Everything starts out okay I took a couple customers on my first day, and tried to be as helpful as I could so we wouldn't fall behind. But if you know anything about customer service jobs they are ALWAYS understaffed. So low and behold we are behind and my trainer gets a bit snippy with me. I cut some fresh basil with the stem and she lost it on me. She said how stupid can you be its common sense to cut basil without the stem. I just said sorry and left it at that. Later she tells me to hurry up three different times even though it's my first day. Okay pretty unreasonable but I can definitely try. I try to maintain a good and friendly attitude but I'm getting nervous because of all the remarks. When I get nervous I get a bit shakey and my trainer asks if I needs to take a piss. Super inappropriate question I just was “no? I am just nervous”. I'm pretty sensitive so I say I'm taking my break trying to told back my tears and just cry in the bathroom.
I don't know what to do anymore I feel so dejected and I hate this constant un- professionalism. Often I feel like I'm being an asshole or I am really just plain stupid. But I try and imagine if I was the senior coworker/boss teaching someone I would be polite and give constructive criticism. Idk just hoping maybe I'm not alone in this or if this stuff will come with age.