10th time yesterday! What a poor record! Each time the same, very good in analytic and synthetic, technically skilled, performant! My teammates are fine with my management, we get stuffs done and we make concrete progress. But as soon as I have professional contact to discuss something with the upper management (C-levels), it ends up by the job termination. I climbed some levels even in some companies internally before reaching “the glass ceiling”. Each time my values (as manager to promote team members, macro-manage the team, drive by objectives not by means, give second chance, promote remote working), my integrity (decision about how to proceed with customer personal data, how to handle such security incident) are at stake. Each time, I made the mistake to trust the management, it seems and expressed my concerns. Each time, I am too assertive. Perceived as agressive as HR says. I am struggled. I feel right and not overreacting. The points are structured, evidenced and legitimate even include enhancement suggestions…but “not said at the appropriate moment, with too much emphasis”. “SufficentBird, you are right on the content but the form is wrong, so the overall is not recevable.” Authentic and straight, I feel my self not fitted for the jobs I had. The job role and function were great, work with team is cool but with my bosses it is a nightmare. Starts good and then step by step deteriorates because
1st job : did not accept to work while hand-bones broken
2sd job : refuse to drink this last drink at home with a colleague, whom became my boss few months later
3rd: refuse to work late a Friday evening after 50 hours already done the same 5working day week
4th : project I did get rewarded (money gain for the company), I requested a share and defended my case
5th: arrived in a team to make them work on weekend : simply said, the objective set to me was to oblige the guys to work outside the normal working hours “because it is the job…, no intervention in prod sensitive timeframes.” But with no other compensation, standard wage. I tried to negotiate something fair.
6th : my boss was clearly taking all the credits. I informed him of my non blindness.
7th : promoted internally, Integrity test : test succeeded / job lost.
8th : abusive conditions : trainer for pro certifications passing from 3 max delegates per class to 14 people without changing teaching conditions, method nor timing, surely not the wage, while participants were paying individually to join the class. Knowing that my performances were set on the feedback of the participants (same time more people = less care and less customised follow up over the 5 days course from the trainer to the trainee).
9th: catastrophic on-boarding during Covid recognised by the manager himself but still my integration was the issue…
10th: manager trap! Sex, partial and subjective judgement from top management. Unbalanced power of few over hundred.
So what! The lessons learnt I take from those experiences are the following :
– I have been said to adapt to people to whom I was not agreeing with, to whom I had professional work and suggestions to submit
– Do not trust Hr! In my case only women systematically with kids. More pressure on family-responsible profile which results on more serviceability!
– I disagree on most of the way the decisions were taken, especially about Human Resources Management (bonus, promotion of team members, training, off days).
– It Does not matter how good you are if the top management dislikes your assertive style. Your ideas will be taken, not you.
– Do the right thing, does not bring glory, people are not courageous, but it makes you feel right in long term perspective. The one that counts the most.
– Decider layer is all about politics (professionally for me was about sex stories between managers, influence, manipulation, formulation, appearances, promises and lies).
– I am competent technically, and enable to communicate properly with my bosses. Note that the issue occurred only when i reported alternative points of view to my managers
– Many colleagues suffer the same situations but react differently because of financial constraints (loans, family, relatives, health,…), worried to lose the job(s), fleeing conflict and trying to keep along.
I have loose quite few jobs now, that I am not worried to find another one. What I feel is that, I am right in what I pretend to do when I start the talk with my bosses, I could improve the communication and do it better surely. But I am poor at that game Because taking their ways is also feeling like faking on my initial intention, a kind of corruption of the core. Shall I use their way of being to get my stuff done.?
I feel like not. And I feel alone. I can do this “rebellion” because my situation allows me to do it ? Probably more now than at the beginning of my work experience journey.
The world is burning and the workplace is doing quiet quieting and quiet firing. We run out of time…am I the only one to feel emotional facing this irrational! ?
Why am I still writing about my job loss? Renunciation of my values? Or keep self-value as North Pole?
Seek financial security or act upon clean conscience ?
Nothing is such binary. And still closer we stand from the collapsing cliff faster and farer will have to be our move to go-on. More swift and precise will have to be our decision. Are the current leaders the right ones nowaday ?
From my Xp, the ones I met are not! From a statistic perspective, it is worrying. What am I waiting for ?