I just need a place to rant, I hope that’s okay.
I got fired today and I don’t know what to do. I’ve worked at this company for almost two years, it’s my first “real” job outside of college. I am(was) a web developer and my entire time at this company has been less than miserable for me. I was honest when they hired me that I did not have a solid foundation of web development at college, I was honest about my mental health. I have been struggling with picking things up in my professional environment. Training consisted of 1 week when I started and was not enough to absorb whatever they wanted me to learn. I have had 2 reviews, one at 3 months, one at a year and both times I have had mixed feedback and I have expressed to my lead developer multiple times how I feel like I was being set up to fail because I’m given feedback stating I’m “not where I should be” and then being told in my review that i’m “still learning and it’s okay to struggle”. I was told by multiple people that I would be moved around to a different team if I was struggling, that there would be multiple talks and hoops before I would be fired because they “ want their employees to succeed” and that firing is a last straw type of thing.
Anyway, I don’t know i’m just scared and confused. As I expressed to my lead developer months ago, I did and still do feel stupid. I’m worried I won’t find another job. I’m worried I’ll end up homeless. I’m worried that everything I worked for was for nothing and that I’ll never find success or happiness. Who wants to hire some dumb girl who can’t even pick up a job in 20 months? I feel like a failure. I don’t know what to do.