2 years have gone by and nothing has changed in my job. I'm still micromanaged, I still deal with entitled customers, I still work for pennies and I honestly just can't deal anymore. What's the point of all this hard work if nothing comes from it, you know?
I get the most joy and relief at the thought of quitting, but I don't have another job lined up as hard as I've tried to find one. I've filled out so many applications to hear nothing back. And even then, the thought of getting another job just to feel stuck again doesn't inspire a lot of hope.
Fuck. I hate being forced to work to live like this, it makes me feel so trapped. If I quit, I don't have money for food, gas, utilities or rent. But the more I work here, the more my mental and physical health degrades. It's lose-lose either way I go. Especially as a queer trans person whose rights are getting whittled down by the year, the feeling of being trapped only grows worse. Like I feel I can never leave California and feel like I'll be safe or have access to the healthcare I need where I am.
Fuck capitalism. Fuck exploitation. Fuck pay to play and working just to survive. Fuck bigotry. Fuck this country altogether.
Sorry if this isn't the place for this, I desperately needed to vent or I'm going to go insane. 🫨