I have been in retail for 7 years (highschool, college, beyond) I have worked at a total of 4 stores and while a full-time student I simultaneously worked a full and part time job. I always told myself work fulfilled me work drove me to do better and be better I liked working it was the only thing I liked realistically. Until the pandemic. I had been with my local Hot Topic since 2018, I live in the tristate area, in 2020 I was premoted to part time assistant manager working 38-48 hours a week for $12 an hour. Anytime I asked for a raise my DM told me no shamed my location for talking about wages and just in general dismissed us no matter our successes. She's never been a real leader and she only respects straight white men and openly admits that to me and every other woman on my management team. I left for a while to complete a retail internship with Disney, coming back with a new outlook on work and what I want in life missing the sunshine state and wanting to enjoy my time out of work here like I did there only to start and find out she's hiring a new full time assistant manager. She never offered me the position and also told my manager she would be terminated for offering me it. Come to find out she's hiring a 50ish year old veteran who has been stationed in Japan up until this past spring where he was dishonorably discharged. He's openly told us it's for having a minor intimately on base which is “legal there”. He hasn't worked retail since the late 80s. He was hired at $26 an hour. I'm still making $13 now I think but only because of state increase. He also is working less hours than me and when I came in today I found he didn't close anything last night and left hentai open on the work iPad. Something in me clicked during my shift today that I graduated and went off to better myself yet came back to the same place I was that would value someone like him more than me.
Going away and coming back made me question what was the purpose in coming back I just got my degree in marketing in 2021. If this random man is so much more valuable to the store over me I'm sorry to my friends there, but I don't see the point in coming back. I called my DM and she ignored my call and told me it's her weekend to contact her tomorrow. I just locked up the store for the day left a letter for each of my associated and scheduled an email to my DM to send at 8 am tomorrow. My keys are locked in the safe alongside my 5 skull pins to commemorate the five years I spent in that shoe box and I made sure the back door was shut behind me. My partner has 12 weeks of vacation time banked up and can work remotely otherwise and is packing up the car and we are going on a road trip for an undetermined amount of time while I decide what the next move for me is.
I'll miss the keys on my lanyard but I won't miss the mental weight of holding them.