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Antiwork

Got questioned about my sleep schedule and now I feel extremely uncomfortable

Not in the US. English isn't my first language. Now I'm not unfamiliar with corporate but this is my first full-time job under a big company. I'm currently working as a trainee, and have been so for two months. I didn't actually have any plans to work full time, but after a great deal of trouble with university admissions (at the end of the lockdown) meant that all my plans to study were derailed. It had plunged me into a terrible and dark place but I'm trying to make it better. Now this job was part of me trying to earn my own pocket money (in my country we don't usually move out, so I am still at home). Mostly I'm trying to save money for my future when I do have to move out and pay for myself. When I spiralled into an almost-depression state my already affected sleep…


Not in the US. English isn't my first language. Now I'm not unfamiliar with corporate but this is my first full-time job under a big company. I'm currently working as a trainee, and have been so for two months. I didn't actually have any plans to work full time, but after a great deal of trouble with university admissions (at the end of the lockdown) meant that all my plans to study were derailed. It had plunged me into a terrible and dark place but I'm trying to make it better.

Now this job was part of me trying to earn my own pocket money (in my country we don't usually move out, so I am still at home). Mostly I'm trying to save money for my future when I do have to move out and pay for myself. When I spiralled into an almost-depression state my already affected sleep schedule just got annihilated.

I haven't got a diagnosis yet but I'm pretty sure it's insomnia and I dread the whole thing. For the last two months I have had around 3 hours of sleep because my work starts early. Thankfully it's WFH, but this also means I hardly know my coworkers.

Now we have a big project coming up and one of the seniors in my department were tasked to brief me. She texted me asking if we could talk late in the evening, and then asked me when I sleep. Now I don't want to reveal my sob story to people I barely know, so I tried dodging the question. She followed it with when I get up. I told her it's when I login to work. This prompted an entire chat on how what I'm doing is unhealthy and unhygienic and overall very harmful.

The thing is, I know. I am aware how bad this entire thing is and I have been getting better very slowly. In fact, knowing how bad it is actually made things worse in a cycle. But the way she told me off felt extremely condescending and degrading. I guess this is the one place where I could rant about this. I just feel really shitty about the entire thing, and knowing how things are, this will probably add to my difficulty sleeping.

Not really looking for work advice, just felt like this would be the right place to share the experience. Rant over.

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