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Antiwork

Help me write an email of holiday cheer to my hellhole office before I leave for good

‘Tis the season! As many of us know in corporate America, this means holiday bonuses and merriment cards from the office. Long story short I put in my two weeks a week ago. On Friday while I was at lunch the Christmas cards were passed out. Everybody got handwritten notes and of course a fat check. Well I found out that I did not get mine. After asking some questions around the office, I decided to go to my boss and ask if I did not qualify for some reason. He starts babbling on that it was an “oversight” but still mentioned “well you did say you were leaving…” (confirming my suspicions that this whole handing out cards thing isn’t about appreciating employees and expressing gratitude, it’s about creating the illusion that there is) Me, not shocked at all, said sincerely to him “Yes but I would like to think…


‘Tis the season! As many of us know in corporate America, this means holiday bonuses and merriment cards from the office. Long story short I put in my two weeks a week ago. On Friday while I was at lunch the Christmas cards were passed out. Everybody got handwritten notes and of course a fat check. Well I found out that I did not get mine. After asking some questions around the office, I decided to go to my boss and ask if I did not qualify for some reason.
He starts babbling on that it was an “oversight” but still mentioned “well you did say you were leaving…” (confirming my suspicions that this whole handing out cards thing isn’t about appreciating employees and expressing gratitude, it’s about creating the illusion that there is)

Me, not shocked at all, said sincerely to him “Yes but I would like to think that my work here was appreciated even though I’m leaving. I’d like to think I did a good job.”
I honestly wanted him to feel bad that during this merry time of year, at least a handful of my supervisors decided together in this move against me, which they fully knew would make me feel like shit as everybody else excitedly opens their cards.

And so on and on he went about “of course you do a good job. Of course we appreciate you here. It was an oversight. This isn’t right, I will make it up.”

Half an hour later I’m handed the same holiday card that everybody else got with a single note from him explaining how “sorry he was for the oversight and wishing me well on my new location”. None of my other supervisors signed it (or looked me in the eye that day). Wow what a happy and sincere sentiment that was. At least I got a measly check out of it that I practically had to beg for.

There’s a lot of aspects to this that really irritate me. Mostly being in the fact that these full grown human beings made a move to exclude me during a time that’s supposed to be about expressing joy and gratefulness and sincerity. Right after work that day they all went to a Christmas party which I was invited to but of course did not attend. It makes me sick that they thought I would show up and act cordial with everybody after they just snubbed me in such a disgusting and obvious way. My friends at work were shaking angry for me and expressing how disrespectful it was. They were as shocked as I am.

Anyway I’m going to send a happy email on Monday expressing my gratitude for working in such a hospitable and friendly environment. I won’t be going back in. Anyone want to give me some very petty lines to include? Bonus points for holiday related sentiments, because this is the most wonderful time of year after all! Ty in advance.

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