TW: mentions of suicide, anxiety, mental health -tagged NSFW
Yesterday I hospitilized myself as my mental state has been greatly deteriorating for over a month. The past 2 weeks used all my strength to keep me out of the hospital. I was told I have chronic suicidal ideation and I am at an extremely high risk for suicide, but they didn't want to keep me as the hospital was full.
I have been working as a manager making 17$/hr (CAD) for over a year now. I thought I'd only make it about 6 months here so I am proud of myself for making it this far but it is time for me to move on and focus on my mental health. My employers give me anxiety and anxiety attacks. every morning I throw up bile because of how anxious i am to go to work. When I am at work I have a hard time focusing and preforming adequality because my mental state is so bad.
I have never really quit a job before (my last job was seasonal and my employer asked if I was going to come back next season and I said no), and I am not sure what I should say to my employers, especially since I am quitting for my mental health. I want to be honest with them but I also want to be able to use them as a reference for my next job.
tdlr: my job makes me want to kill myself and I'm not sure how to quit/tell my employers