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Antiwork

How to deal with an abusive owner?

After working at this restaurant for a year now, I have FINALLY figured out how the owner will use manipulation to make his employees go above and beyond for him. I came to this job with a lot of previous experience. I’ve always been a top server in previous restaurants. But in my first day at this place, the owner started training me. He began by telling me that I better be smart because all of his employees were idiots. On my very first day at work I asked him where a certain item was, because I didn’t know where things were in this restaurant, because I was new. He got mad and begrudgingly showed me. I was confused as to why he was upset that I didn’t know where the item was located, so I asked him “how is someone supposed to know where it is?” And he replied…


After working at this restaurant for a year now, I have FINALLY figured out how the owner will use manipulation to make his employees go above and beyond for him.

I came to this job with a lot of previous experience. I’ve always been a top server in previous restaurants. But in my first day at this place, the owner started training me. He began by telling me that I better be smart because all of his employees were idiots. On my very first day at work I asked him where a certain item was, because I didn’t know where things were in this restaurant, because I was new. He got mad and begrudgingly showed me. I was confused as to why he was upset that I didn’t know where the item was located, so I asked him “how is someone supposed to know where it is?” And he replied with “because like me they actually use their HEAD, they think about things with their HEAD, they process information and actually think about things before taking ACTION.”

He also complained to the manager while I was right next to him about how frustrated he was because I didn’t know anything! How I can’t do anything right and that he doesn’t know what he’s gonna do with me. Meanwhile it was my first day training.

On my first day I left work crying because I had never felt so stupid before. I knew I wasn’t dumb, but they insulted my intelligence so much that I told myself I was going to be the best server ever to prove to them I wasn’t an idiot. And I did. I’m the top seller at this restaurant and the owner now regularly tells other employees they should be more like me.

Whenever he hires new employees, he insults their intelligence at all times when they are training. They are constantly being told they can’t do anything right. He expects them to know absolutely everything about how the restaurant runs on the first day or else they are called stupid and worthless . He complains to his staff about how much of an idiot the new employee is. And we are all terrified of him so we just listen and don’t say anything. I see that it hurts the new employees, and I see that they work harder to prove to him that they aren’t stupid. And therefore this owner has created a manipulative environment where people have to show to him that we aren’t idiots, so we work extra hard to prove it to him.

Now that I’ve seen his game, how can I make him stop what he’s doing? The pay is great, I don’t want to leave. But it breaks my heart to see new trainees be called stupid and idiots for asking normal questions a new employee should be asking.

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