I'm currently 21 and I work part time in retail while in school full time. Even though I still have financial support from my mother and don't have to pay rent, it is clear that even if I worked full time at my current job (which pays minimum wage) I would never make enough to support myself let alone move out. Although I'm in school, I don't even know what career path I should follow.
Due to some health issues, even 40 hours a week is incredibly exhausting. I have worked 40+ hours, 5 days a week in the past ay my previous job and it was awful. My free time was spent mostly sleeping. If I had more time, I didn't use it productively because I was so mentally and physically exhausted. Even when I slept I dreamt about working, it was awful. My life revolved solely around work. Eat, sleep, work, repeat.
It makes me feel lazy but I would rather die than have to work constantly for the rest of my life for a barely liveable wage at a shitty job. It makes life feel so meaningless.
Even with how crazy the US is right now, everything I see in the news is just awful. Roe v Wade, ongoing racism, essentially human rights violations, among other things. It feels like we're going backwards. The environment is being destroyed and it doesn't seem like much is being done about it.
It all feels so pointless. Like everythings fucked, why should I try? If I didn't have people who I loved in my life, I probably would've killed myself by now. I'm not sure where to go from here, feels like I'm just passing time.