I really just need to vent, honestly. This is my first full-time job after college and I can't help but feel like all of my hard work over the past decade has gone towards a lie. I've remained focused and ambitious through all the years I've been in school dreaming of the security I would have after I graduated. I got the security I wanted and I'm eternally grateful for that considering how I grew up, but I guess I never really anticipated feeling this suffocated alongside it. I can hardly focus being in my office cubicle sometimes because I constantly have this feeling that I just need to escape. I don't understand why I can get all of my work done for the day in 3-4 hours and I'm just forced to sit there pretending to be busy so that I get my 40 hours in a week. I know this is dramatic but sometimes it literally feels like I sold my soul just to be able to pay my bills, because wouldn't it make more sense to pay people more for less hours since the vast majority of people working an office job don't get 8 hours worth of work done in a day? And I feel guilty that I feel this way because I'm lucky to have the job that I do, I really am. I work in healthcare navigation helping underprivileged people that would give anything to be in the position that I'm in. Ultimately, I'm happy that I get to help others and have some sense of fulfillment at my job even though it can be boring. I just know that there's no way I can do this for the next 40 years, not just in this position but in any office position. I feel like I'm living the same day every day and I don't see a way out. I wake up (usually tired because I can't seem to change being a night owl no matter how hard I try), I commute 30 minutes, I sit at work for 8.5 hours (because I'm forced to take a half hour unpaid lunch break which honestly just feels like I'm having more time stolen from me), I commute another 30 minutes, I go to the gym, I might clean or eat or sit on my phone or whatever, I go to sleep and repeat. I can't even enjoy my weekends because I'm just dreading the fact that another work week is coming up. This isn't to say that I don't want to work, because I do. But 40 hours and 5 days a week, especially while continuing to live paycheck to paycheck, just seems inhumane. I know I'm still young and I have a lot of time to figure out how I might be able to make a better life for myself, but I really don't know where to start. I have a bachelor's degree in public health and my experience is largely social work based, so I'm not sure if there's any self-employed position I could make for myself out of that. I'm really interested in project management, but if I ever wanted to be a consultant I would have to gain the experience first. Obviously in an office. Not a day goes by that I don't consider quitting my job just to become a bartender or something, but then again I'd be sacrificing security, consistency, and benefits for likely a new set of problems. I just feel incredibly trapped.