TL;DR My work situation has gone from pretty comfortable to almost torturous, It's giving me depression. It feels like my boss is gaslighting me but I can't prove it.
I work at a major hotel chain as an in-room dining associate. (I take food from the kitchen to guests rooms) and I feel as if I'm going through depression right now. I am also dealing with a boss who is gaslighting me which is a horrendous feeling.
So I started this position a little over 15 months ago. During the initial interview with my current scheduling manager and another manager who is no longer with our location, I was offered the hours of 10 am to 3 pm. IN the entire time I've worked there I have never once seen this shift. all my shifts start at 6 am now. I used to ask him all the time when I was going to start getting later shifts as it was cutting into my recording time for my VA work. he would either say it was coming or laugh it off, changing the subject.
When I first started working there I was in pretty good shape, working out 4 to 5 times a week and eating pretty well. Now I'm lucky if I work out more than once a week and I have a second job at the Gym I work out in. My apartment is covered in doordash garbage right now. Things are just so f***ed mentally.
When I first started working there between orders we were allowed to sit down and do whatever to keep our minds occupied as long as the side work was done. (Fridge was stocked, Pizza boxes were full, that sort of thing) I would bring in a book or watch something on my kindle between orders. It actually kept me pretty productive cause I would do the side work while I watched stuff and would always do the work quickly and efficiently to get back to what I was reading or watching. You wanted to do it efficiently too, cause if you forgot something it was another trip up to the room to take care of what you forgot. Now we have been moved into this new kitchen that we can not sit down in, and we are not allowed to bring our personal items into. So if it is slow, and it often is, your option is to stand and stare at a wall.
Before, when I could sit, I didn't mind that I wasn't getting breaks cause it felt like I was on a break most of the time waiting for the next order. But now that I can't sit, breaks feel very necessary and we can't get them because there is no way to alert us of new orders other than the printers in the kitchen, it feels like torture. Often in the morning hours it is only one person.
Before we moved kitchens I worked with this other girl about half my age. The leadership adored her so much that she got far more preferential treatment. When I got the other job at the gym my manager had me talk to her about whether or not I could get the day off. It was only when I asked if she wanted to change her days off if she would have to ask me if she could, did anyone notice that it was wrong of them to do it. When important information needed to be given, it was given to her, not me. Even though I was the one who trained her, inside of a year of her being hired, she is now in an office position. We've had three major raffles since she's been hired, guess who won every single one. I'm not mad at her, she's a completely nice person, I don't want anything taken away from her, I just want them to put as much attention into the other associates.
About a week and a half ago I went to HR to voice my discouragement with these problems. The HR woman sat and took a few notes, flat our denied any wrong doings with the raffles, and wouldn't even admit that any of it looked suspicious. She asked if I wanted to sit down with her and my hiring/scheduling manager(the one who interviewed me) about these issues. I told her multiple times, “No, I absolutely do not.” Guess what we did last Monday. We all sat down and had a meeting I did not want to have.
Every time I brought up something, the manager either flat out denied that it happened, or denied that it looked like preferential treatment. He told me that he never offered me 10 to 3, that has never been a shift, and never will be a shift. To which HR did not object or push. She even decided to keep the raffles from her earlier conversation with him until that meeting and ambush him with it then. It made me look like a nutcase! The manager then told me we would never have a place to sit in the new kitchen and I would just have to get used to it. It was all very once sided, I blew up a couple times too. Telling them how they weren't listening to me. It was a total s**t show. Nothing will be changed.
At the end of the meeting my manager told me he didn't want the meeting to end without me saying that I enjoy my job cause he didn't think I'd have it much longer if I didn't. I told him that I would continue to do my job just as I have always done and he said, “That's not good enough, I need to hear you say you will get to a point where you enjoy your job again.” it was the most demoralizing thing I think I've ever been through.
I know I should just quit/run from there as fast as I can, but I've gotten too used to the money. (the pay is pretty decent and livable if you're there full time) I'll be in a position in a couple months when I can quit, but what am I supposed to do until then?