It's just ingrained in me. To put it simply one of my responsibilities is to keep a silo full of material (work in an industrial setting). The thing has a sensor that tells you when it's full. My boss always tells me not to trust the sensor because sometimes it gets stuck on and to climb a huge set of steps to look into the silo and confirm for myself. Well I didn't do that. I trusted the sensor and the thing ran empty which pissed a lot of people off. Boss called me after I was home asking me how I could possibly let it go empty. He was cool about it but I'm just so hard on myself about it.
I apologized profusely and even went back in after hours to fill it without anyone asking. If I didn't I would have had horrible anxiety all night. I called him back and let him know I fucked up but I care about my job and came back to check for sure that I fucked up and fix it. He gave me a “shit happens don't worry about it” kind of response but I still feel like a douche bag. It's an easy part of the job and I still fucked up. I wish I cared less. I actually like my job and it's afforded me a good life. Ib take pride in my work so when i make mistakes i take it really hard. Just needed to vent idk fuck it.