I recently had a significant loss caused by an accident, for which I, unfortunately, feel very responsible. I have had problems dealing with it and developed an anxiety disorder, PTSD, and depression. The work-related stress and the crunch caused by delays have only increased my sense of despair. Now that I have health problems, I realize a contract's importance.
Due to the lack of a contract because I freelance, I won't receive pay if I take medical leave, so I have to keep working to receive payment. There's a big project, our biggest one, and I've managed the whole system design. I enjoy it and find it relaxing to work on, despite it being work. I explained this situation to the development manager, the only other developer in the company who also freelance, and proposed that I could keep working on the big project, but the rest would be put on hold since I need to work at my own pace and recover as I can. He said it was no problem and that I should finish everything else by Friday and THEN take the week off. Only thinking about all I have to do is causing me stress. I know I need to rest.
I've been feeling exhausted from this job for a while now. The owner overcharges clients by 100-500% more than we get for development. All projects are behind schedule, and he doesn't check Trello because he's “too busy.” This results in issues arising and projects getting delayed because they need to be solved. It takes him three weeks to show up and ask why the project is behind schedule. It's been two years, and he still hasn't tried to learn about the software development cycle. I'm frustrated that I know more about what's happening than he does. I don't see the value he adds to his own company, is just like an IT pimp.
The last thing I heard is that he said nobody is irreplaceable. He has two employees with contract, him and a terrible graphic designer. The company cannot pay me a senior-level salary, so I freelance per project. If I stop freelancing for this company, just one person can cover my work… the only other developer. There are about four senior-level projects to maintain, a big project coming into production that requires at least two senior developers in a Framework that is not popular in my country.
Nobody is irreplaceable in a well-run company, but when you run a shitshow and with one departure, you lose 50% of your developing workforce. You clearly have an irreplaceable worker problem, even more if you can't even contract a replacement.
I'm tempted to leave and see if this house of cards falls down., no matter if I end up with no job or way to pay me a place to sleep. I'm just tired of this stupidity of life.