I've been working for three months at Big Evil Corp as a stower and made their ridiculous quota the other night. The reason I hadn't been making it before was because a) I was badly injured in an accident last year, and so physically it is incredibly painful to do this job, period; b) I was trying to follow their stupid “bin etiquette” rules which it seems NO ONE else follows and c) I really just don't give a fuck about their stupid metrics.
I'm exhausted. I've been exhausted from the moment I awaken to the moment I fall asleep, every single day, for over 2 years now. I really just can't take it anymore. The other night, I was weirdly energized by this notion of “fuck ROBOTS” (bin etiquette, Standard Operating Procedures, whatever you want to call it). I just tossed shit into whatever bin it would fit in. I nailed the metrics, but I could not have kept it up had I stayed the entire night. I VTO'd about halfway through my shift and I was DOGGED. It is unbelievable how much they want you to produce for barely enough money to pay bills, and the medical bills that have come along with my pursuit of “why the fuck am I so unnaturally tired.” I hurt. I'm tired, and I'm at the end of my rope with this never-ending fatigue.
I have always had the “rockstar” mentality in my jobs. I have always gone above and beyond, and I have nothing to show but praise and empty promises. The thing about stars, if they burn too bright for too long, they burn out. Go supernova. I think it's science or something.
Fuck work, fuck stress, and fuck being tired.