I feel pretty depressed about the whole thing. I 20f work in a fast paced pediatrics office as a receptionist with about 5 other receptionists. The girls are extremely cliquey and they constantly gossip about others, are judgmental, and overall vulgar (jokes about cheating on their s/os, and loudly making gross sexual jokes even when the kids are in ear shot). Due to this, I’m extremely antisocial and I keep to myself. I’m polite and cordial but I never tell anyone anything personal, and I don’t try to join in on their conversations at all. One girl in particular (let’s call her Z) has been rude to me ever since I started. She comments on my physical appearance and has said things like: your skin is way too pasty to wear a skirt, your hair is dry and looks like you don’t brush it (I was depressed at the time and struggling to take care of myself) and that me being blonde was “off-putting”. Due to being understaffed work has been intense. I work 10 hour days and there is never a lull, I can barely think straight with how fast it is. I’m in charge of scanning which I do all day non-stop. I also take phone calls, schedule people, handle faxes, prescription line, check patients in, do the admin inbox etc. Due to this, I get about 90% of all office scanning done before I leave. Even with me working really hard and constantly doing it there is still a little bit left over at the end of the day.
The scanning is not time sensitive at all, whether we have the physical copy or it is in the computer, the bottom line is we have the info. The intention of scanning is to be paperless but none of it is emergent in the slightest. Yesterday was really busy. The majority of scanning got done but it was 5:30 and I needed to leave as I’m also a full time college student and I have finals this week. This means the rest of the papers get rolled over to tomorrow. As I’m leaving, Z in front of everybody starts implying I haven’t done any scanning at all. Which is very frustrating as I do it like a robot non-stop. I hate confrontation it makes me anxious. So I told her calmly “I know you’re busy with your own work, but if you had been watching me today you’d see that I do it from the time I come in to the time I leave. I’m only one person and I can’t stay any later because of school”. She then compares me to her, which I respond to by saying “that’s really nice but I’m an individual I’m not you”. Keep in mind, she only gets her separate tasks done because she gets to sit in a certain spot as to not interact with patients, meaning she gets the opportunity to focus on only one thing while I’m juggling what feels like 100 tasks. I walk out without saying good night to any of them. I got a pit in my stomach, and instead of leaving I stood by the corner for a moment and listened. When they thought I left they all joined in on how terrible they think my work is and laughed about me. It killed because I try my best and I never feel like it’s good enough no matter what. I walked out to my car and just sobbed. I feel terrible and like I’m not enough. Thank you for listening if you got this far