I'll have to start with a lengthy intro.
I'm Russian, and since my country invaded Ukraine, I had to deal with a chain of unfortunate events:
- I had to move to one of the Commonwealth of Independent States (CIS) countries which still tolerates Russians. That's not just because of the war, but also because of my political stance. I hate Putin, openly supported opposition, participated in street protests in the past, etc. You probably know what happens to people like me in Russia.
- I have a mortgage to pay. My plan is to pay everything in the next 2 years. Right now I have to rent the apartment (I was going to live there, but then the war happened), and the rent doesn't covert even 1/3 of my monthly mortgage payments. The rent goes to my family, as I was their primary source of income before I left Russia, and now it's really difficult for all of us.
- One of my family members has passed away recently, and I couldn't even visit the funeral because of the aforementioned reasons.
- My income has dropped when I relocated. The company I work for closed its offices in Russia because of the war and sanctions, offering me to move, but obviously they pay less here, as this country is poorer than Russia.
- I rent an apartment now, and it costs about 5 times more than it would cost a year ago before the war and mass exodus of Russians. The landlords here sure took their opportunity. The apartment has lots of missing or broken appliances and really doesn't worth the money. I could get something cheaper, but I really care about my mental health and would like to avoid living in slums.
- My chronic anxiety got much worse due to all of the above. I'm having another depression episode (I had a few in the past).
Now, to the point:
- The company recently started asking me to take on more responsibilities. This is a requirement for promotion, but they can only promise me, no actual guarantees were given.
- I'm in a senior position, and so I have to mentor junior colleagues, write proposals, participate in lots of meetings/calls, etc. I think I would do some of that time-to-time anyway, but I don't like that it's a requirement rather than good will. I wish I had spare time and energy to share, but I don't.
Recently, I was tasked to write a set of business/development goals. If you know about things like SMART goal setting, OKRs/KPIs and such, this is basically it. The “productivity” stuff.
I have absolutely no capacity to deal with any job-related goals. Even if I wrote those, they wouldn't even be in the top 30 of my current priorities. As my life conditions deteriorated significantly, I would rather focus on getting back what I had. At least a decent place to live, somewhere safe. Right now I'm really worried that if Putin will order this country to deport all the potential conscripts, the local government will comply.
I know it may sound like I only care about my comfort, but I am really not doing well right now. My family relies on me, and I cannot risk getting drafted to get shelled in a trench or rot in a prison. I would really like to help Ukraine, but unfortunately I can't.
So, the question…
What do you think is the best way to communicate to my management that I'm not willing to set any goals? I really want to be polite, as I'm afraid of losing this job, which is at least paid well.
I was thinking a lot where I could ask about this, and unfortunately this is the only place where I feel safe. I don't have much trust in the company, especially after seeing some of my colleagues being laid off without any prior notice, and bad mismanagement of the situation with closing offices in Russia.
Thank you for your time reading this.